A wide-ranging conversation
Conversation with a
grandson
"Son,
I'm heading to the supermarket. Do you want to come". This is how the shopping
trip started. I looked for an opportunity to have my first (of many)
conversations with my grandson as he is just becoming a teenager. The thought
that we could have that conversation began when I realized my eldest grandson
reacted while observing me giving instructions to the youngest. I saw the look
that said, "Papi, I know you are full of it, but I understand why it was
told.
"Who would
you answer to if you have no debt and made six figures as a 21-year-old?" "Who
outside of your job could tell you what to do outside of your family?" He replied
to the government and no one else." Do you know why? It is because the
borrower is a slave to the lender. And I mean enslaved in the literal sense."
Being in debt to that extent that you do something that you hate is why people
do crazy things." Do you know the most significant financial mistake I have
made financially over the last seven or so years? It was buying that 2013
Camaro fresh off the lot. I know that was an emotional decision from where I
sit now, having come into a large windfall after a chapter of my former life
ended. And I spent that extra windfall on a car instead of saving it. I purchased
that car for 33K fresh off the lot; it was worth 28k the next day. Son, you do
the math. I could have bought a Camaro one year earlier for 27k, but I bought
that car for the privilege of having my hind-parts being the first in the car. Was
the new car smell worth FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS! No, it wasn't. I have another
question, what would 529 dollars do for one's life over five years if it was
saved/invested? Have you heard of the "rule
of 72"? What time would your money take to double at a particular interest
rate? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53LBNbmXlGg
Do you want to have children eventually? Yea Papi. Then one would require a female for that, and that process can be complicated. Think long and hard about that. There is a line from the movie "Heat" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMXEOtxXRiM I am not telling you not to get into a relationship; I'm telling you to do so with your eyes wide open. Because until you commit to one person, You MUST have one hand on the ejection lever. Now, son, this is my first piece of advice. In the realm of picking out a mate, Buy coffee. Anyone you would be interested in must know that they are suitable for an extended relationship and possibly have children. This meeting is not a date; this is an interview, as you are planning for the future of your legacy, your bloodline. The future of everyone that will carry your name over the centuries to come. There is a reason that women should and are picky on this issue. They cannot afford to make a mistake; because that mistake will follow them forever. Just because something is fun does not mean that it is something to do just for fun. There is a purpose for everything, and you have to walk in that purpose. And having coffee is how I discovered that Nana was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
Let me come back to something. Several
things had to fall in line to have this happen; most of them happened before I
met Nana. I joined the U.S Military and did my twenty years of service; I was
accepted into college, got a technical degree, and became a computer guy; I did 19 years in civil service and retired from that. Those things, combined
with how I became ill on active duty and hit the magical age of 66, are why I can stay home to take care of Nana and all of you. It is why I retired to
take care of her, but I was only able to do that because I lucked up.
Oh, yea, coffee. Eight to twelve dollars are a reasonable expense just to find out if the
person on the other side of the table is interesting, worth continuing to get to
know, or is someone to run from. This is precisely like the trashcan fire instead
of the house burning down. With a trash can fire, you are throwing the can
outside; a housefire means you can potentially lose everything having it burned
to the ground when you smell smoke you ACT. I was saved during coffee in my
previous life (Pre nana) because this beautiful woman repeatedly involved
herself in situations that required the police to be called. I had a friend
that called me about 20 minutes into my coffee, providing me a way to gracefully
exit, which I did.
There is an ancient adage; when you have boys, you only worry
about one *ick in town, but when you have girls, you worry about every *ick in the town. You really do not have to be as selective because you at any time can walk away (now
it could be expensive), but you can walk away, but she cannot. She has to get this one thing right hopefully the first time, as the consequences are long-lasting. Son you do understand I am
speaking of having children in this example. I'm not saying this process is easy I'm absolutely not saying that. what I am saying is that I am an eye witness to that very thing happening to a niece of mine and her husband, they have twin boys; the family legacy remains intact.
Let's talk about money again. Do you like our home? This example will make you think; when I bought the house last year, I paid the house price PLUS 2.65% for the purchase divided over 30 years. The house's final price is the difference, which will almost double over 30 years. If I bought that house today, that rate would be closer to 4% for the same dirt. Did you know that the home we live in now is $600 cheaper a month than the house we rented when we got here? Our cost is fixed and will remain unchanged for the next 30 years. Do you think the rent will be the same for 30 years? That is how the rich get richer, and the poor get poorer. With fewer advantages and possibly lousy decision-making, the poor pay more for everything. There are several factors, but understand that is true,
https://share.newsbreak.com/q9z8ucdw
Son, have you seen the picture of
the Bugatti parked next to a trailer? That is a one-million-dollar automobile. Let
me propose an alternative let us buy a home; in this area where we live, we can
get a lovely house for $360,000 that leaves $640,000 leftover, and let's say
you splurge and get a 2022 ford F150 for $46,000 that would leave you $594000
left to do and if you gave yourself 50,000 a year you could live 11/12 years without
doing anything. You would have a paid-off car and house; Instead of a vehicle that
gets you from point a to point b, you have something that gets less valuable every
day.
https://preview.redd.it/b3mq5rj09fa51.jpg?auto=webp&s=5df35cc3feede94e049a40cd30de118d18b9b3ff
Going to the market, we first
stopped at the meat section, and I said the most inefficient use of a steak is
to buy one, cook it and eat it. I know how to feed all seven of us with a 2lb
steak. The expense breaks down, with beef the most expensive, followed by pork, then chicken; remember that chicken pasta dish we had the other day https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NcaVVo6Eho
With the
groceries loaded in the car, I asked whether you know how to get better than
you are now. That would be by associating yourself with naturally better or more advanced people than you. I bowled like 3 or 4 nights a week
when I was younger. My starting average was 125; 3 years later, my average was
220. All of the friends I associated with were bowlers of 225 or better, and three
of them rolled a 300 game, and I saw it happen. My best game was 278 in a
tournament. I got close to 300 but no cigar. You need people to push you to be
better than you are, and you won't get better hanging out with people that do
not force you to be your best. Do not coast push. I do not have any associations that are not productive everyone who is an association of mine is a benefit to my improvement. There is no dead weight in my personal relationships. There is an old saying; Show me your friends and I will show you your future
I like to write;
I will write about this conversation; however, I will not mention you by name. But
I will write to help someone who may read this in the future. He asked what I am
writing about now (thanks for asking, son). I am working on an idea. I heard in
a sermon long ago. The sermon was about Everything in the Bible being truly
stated; however, everything in the bible is not a statement of truth. I took
the opportunity to talk about the prophet Elijah. How he could call fire from
heaven in one moment then hide in a cave in the next, telling God that he was
the only one to serve him faithfully. God sent an angel to the prophet, telling
him, "that was not accurate as there were 7000 prophets that did not bow
to Baal. That is an example of an accurate depiction of an untrue statement.
Heading home,
we talked about being led by one's emotions. There is an industry that makes
merchandise of one's emotions. That is the media. Let's look at a statistic of how
many police killed unarmed black people in 2019. He said 1000, no son, that number
is 9. One is more likely to get killed in certain areas way more than that by
something other than police. This is to get your emotions involved to make you
think in a certain way to act in a way that can be predicted if the argument is
only emotional if the person resorts to calling you something like picking your
phobia. If it's "you are just one of those," Fill in the blank"
people." You need to extricate yourself from that person or idea. Walk away,
for it is better to live your life successfully without that emotional damage.
I told him that this is the end result of the lessons of my mistakes so you don't have to make the same ones that I made. this is in essence what I would say to my 13 year old self if I was given the chance That was the 1st of the mentorship sessions since the young man had just become a teenager; I got two more young men to get out on their own until my mission will be considered complete.
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