Grace

                                                                         Grace

It what is missing

I have thought long and hard about this. I came upon a situation where grace was nonexistent. I came across a situation where I was faced with what I perceived as self-righteous indignation and sloganeering instead of talking to me directly about a slight that I would have immediately apologized for and not ever repeated. After that event, I was torn because I had several options laid out in my mind. It was made complex as it was one of the people I love the most on planet earth. My traditional motifs Operandi is to immediately cut the person off, fade into the background, and ghost them entirely, as I have done many times in my life. I have done this without hesitation, with the only variable being the time I allowed myself to calm down. I have done this to lovers, close friends, and family members. For an unforgiven action in the 1980s, I would not speak to my younger brother for approximately 15 years. This situation was the disposition of my parent's home that went back to the bank for a minor loan that my brother took on the house in the 1990s. I was contacted too late to make the late payments, and the place was lost. The incident that caused my virtual disappearance was how the money was used. I'll say it was a legal issue that eventually led to my brother's incarceration. We repaired our relationship shortly before his death in 2002. This situation is more complicated because, after a terrible car accident in 1987, I was left a widower with a small child. That child remains the light of my life, and regardless of where she presently is, I remain proud of what she has become. I did not do her any favors with my subsequent choices afterward, leaving her in the care of a woman that mentally abused her. I just stood there, not knowing what to do. I did this more than once. Even then, she was the voice of reason that led to the ending of my downward spiral. Her words to me that afternoon years later I remember as if it was yesterday. "Dad, if you keep going the way you are going, the only person that will love you in your old age is me" I knew that was true as I was running roughshod through the population in a revenge vendetta. I was being unkind and out only for myself. All that changed when I met my current spouse. I have asked for another chance to be a dad, and I found that chance with her grandson. He was in a car seat in the back of her car when I came to assist with a flat tire. That was 12 years ago, and I now have three grandsons that call me Papi from that one daughter. That leads me to the day most recently when I jest offended her sensibilities, which led to a monologue that stated her feelings about what I said and tied it together with the malaise that is prevalent in the social dialogue of today. My first thought was to think, Ok, if that's how I will be this political adversary, so be it, I will love you always, but I don't have to be around that kind of rhetoric if I do not want to. You have made it to adulthood. You have talent, and drive; my presence in your life is no longer necessary for you. I'll miss you, but I understand. That was my first thought. Giving it a couple of days, it settled into I will never speak to her in that way again. I will keep it formal and avoid any topic of conversation that will lead to complicated feelings. I was guilty of the same thing that I was holding over the heads of others; I was not giving grace. Grace is a unique thing. It cannot be demanded, for it is a gift provided without any expectation of return. So, it's only my place to give grace, which I am doing now in retrospect. If I receive grace, it is not my issue; it is my issue to provide grace. That is what I have agonized over the last couple of days. Having to sidestep my pride, quash my anger and recognize that this person I love is worthy of that love and more. She is why I can write an essay about personal grace coming from a place where I continue to receive abundant amounts just to be stingy with it when it was my turn to give it. I am ashamed and will pray to receive forgiveness for my shortsightedness. 

Grandson conversations

                                                       Grandson conversations.

 

Today's talk was interesting. It took place in the drive up to drop my grandson at school.

"Papi, how do you know you are about to run out of gas?" "Well, son, there is a part on the dashboard that shows me that." At that point, the line had stopped for the busses to leave the parking lot, so I had about a minute. Putting the car in park, I let him get in the front seat, as we were no longer on the road, but in the school's parking lot. It was just in time as the line started to move again. I asked my grandson to look at the dashboard at the next stop. "What do you see? He said he sees E and F with a line this pointing to E. what do they mean? Grandson answered F means it is full, and what does E mean? Pausing a few seconds, he says EXPLODE; no son, it means something else, so if you have a glass of water and the water is to the top of the glass to the point of it spilling, is what? He said it is full; ok then if you throw it away at that point, I took My cup of hot tea and pretended to throw it out, seeing that I had already finished. I asked then, what about now? He paused and thought once again. So, I said would it be empty? YEA empty, the grandson replied. It also has a light that indicates that it is very low, and it is possible to run out of gas within a few miles. He understood then. He is looking for a complex answer and not choosing the easy ones, but that is a guess. My wife showed me the note on his report card where he struggles with using a singing voice instead of just shouting. (I so want to see that) Well, I might not teach the world to sing; however, one seven-year will discuss that with me shortly.

Proverbs 3

 Proverbs 3

 

1My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments:

2 For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee.

3 Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart:

4 So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man.

5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

            As the Father, God reminds us not to forget his laws and commandments. To ensure the most extended, most peaceful life one can have. It is an admonition for a life with a minimum of strife and problems. Please do not turn away from mercy and truth to keep them close to you and memorize them for instant recall. Trust God with all your heart entirely, and at all times, even at those times, it seems that following those truths may not appear profitable or correct; trust that following God’s laws are valid at all times. Give
God, the credit for the things in your life, and He will give you direction in that life.

 

7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil.

8 It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.

9 Honour the Lord with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase:

10 So shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine.

            Do not think too highly of yourself; respect the Lord and leave evil behind. Give the honor to God by attending to the needs of God first before taking care of your personal needs. This is to ensure that the endeavors that one pursues are successful and plentiful enough to provide for your needs, wants, and desires. It is suitable for one’s health and the maintenance of the body spiritually and physically.

11 My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of his correction:

12 For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.

            When mistakes are made, do not hate the correction. The only failure is to fail to learn from a mistake. Those lessons are given to the children that he is pleased

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13 Happy is the man that findeth wisdom and the man that getteth understanding.

14 For the merchandise of it is better than the merchandise of silver, and the gain thereof than fine gold.

15 She is more precious than rubies: and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her.

16 Length of days is in her right hand, and in her left-hand riches and honour.

17 Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.

18 She is a tree of life to them that lay hold upon her: and happy is every one that retaineth her.

19 The Lord by wisdom hath founded the earth; by understanding hath he established the heavens

20 By his knowledge, the depths are broken up, and the clouds drop down the dew.

            A wise man is happy, for he finds wisdom and understanding. Wisdom has value better than silver and is more profitable than gold wisdom; her preciousness is more than jewels; there is nothing comparable to wisdom and her benefits. Wisdom extends the length of life on the one hand and riches and honors on the other. Following wisdom will lead to a pleasant life, and the path of wisdom gives peace. The Tree of life is rooted in wisdom, and a happier person will live when wisdom is kept close at hand. Wisdom is that thing that created the earth, understand set in motion the universe. By the knowledge of God, the mountains and the seas were formed, and the cycle that sustains the world was established. 

21 My son, let not them depart from thine eyes: keep sound wisdom and discretion:

22 So shall they be life unto thy soul, and grace to thy neck.

23 Then shalt thou walk in thy way safely, and thy foot shall not stumble.

24 When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet.

            Son, do not let wisdom depart from your vision; always use sound judgment. It will be life to you and your soul. You shall travel safely and not trip over the obstacles that present themselves. Your sleep will be peaceful and quiet, not filled with stress and fear

25 Be not afraid of sudden fear, nor the desolation of the wicked when it cometh.

26 For the Lord shall be thy confidence and shall keep thy foot from being taken.

27 Withhold not good from them to whom it is due when it is in the power of thine hand to do it.

28 Say not unto thy neighbor, Go, and come again, and tomorrow I will give; when thou hast it by thee.

            Do not be paralyzed by fear that comes out of a sudden; neither should you fear the wrath of the evil when it eventually comes. The Lord will be the confidence you exude, and it shall keep you safe. Do not withhold goodness to those deserving of it when it’s up to you and within your power. Please do not turn your neighbor away when you have the wherewithal at hand; give when you have it available.

29 Devise not evil against thy neighbour, seeing he dwelleth securely by thee.

30 Strive not with a man without cause, if he have done thee no harm.

31 Envy thou, not the oppressor, and choose none of his ways.

32 For the froward is abomination to the Lord: but his secret is with the righteous.

33 The curse of the Lord is in the house of the wicked: but he blesseth the habitation of the just.

34 Surely he scorneth the scorners: but he giveth grace unto the lowly.

35 The wise shall inherit glory: but shame shall be the promotion of fools.

            Do not construct evil plans against your neighbor while at peace with you and relying on you. Do not contend with anyone without cause, having done you no harm. Do not think highly of an aggressor; do not adapt his ways or mannerisms. The Stubborn and obstinate are an abomination to the Lord but are gracious to the righteous. The people that practice wickedness is accursed: but God blesses the household of the just. God will scorn those that practice scorn: but grace is given to the humble  The inheritance of the wise is glory, but shame is the reward for fools.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            

Another ride home discussion with Jax

 Another ride home discussion with Jax

 

            Today, Jax told me about his children's church lesson on our ride home. In his usual way, he gave me the story's high points in Acts 5; 1-11 how Ananias and his wife Saphira held back part of an offering for the early church. A plot of land was sold. The proceeds were to be used as start-up capital for the early church. He lied and said that those funds were all he received from the sale. When Peter called him out on it, he fell dead. Now the problem was not what he did, but what he said that he did. The gains from the sale were his to use as he saw fit. But he chose to be untruthful in what he said to Peter, and more importantly, The Holy Ghost. So, my questions for Jax were why he lied about it; was it necessary to tell a lie? Finally, what was the result of that lie? The answers were that it was unnecessary to lie as the land was his, and the proceeds were his to do what he pleased. The point was to look good with the people committed to giving all. The result was the death of Ananias and the subsequent death of his wife as she was a participant in the ruse that they attempted.  

            With that finished, "Jackson, why is it important not to lie?" His answer was, "so I don't get punished, yea, but NO! The reason (in most cases) the reason not to lie is because you want your word to be relied upon so people can depend on and trust you when you tell them something. The ability to be relied upon is very important because, in a family, we will defend you to the end if we believe you are being truthful. Remember when I told you I would get you some more of those mints you like? When I said that, I was bound to my words to do my best to accomplish it. However, after looking, we found that those mints were sold out, so I got something else; by the way, do you like them?

      There are (rare situations) when it could be tricky, to tell the truth, as when faced with an absolute evil asking you a question, and the ability not to answer is not allowed. I was in one of those no-win situations when a superior officer ordered me to give a yes or no answer. The answer was more detailed than that, but I was not given the option. So, I answered a truthful YES SIR and took a tremendous A-Chewing. It was one of the worst I have ever received. The answer was 100% honest but also 100% percent inaccurate. I personally have no problem lying in the presence of evil. (Known evil) but I prefer not to answer when asked a loaded question. I will deflect, defer, ask another question, or wiggle out of it somehow. What kind of question would that be. Something like, does this dress make me look fat? My answer to that question is, first, why would you ask such a foolish question like that; you think I'm some kind of new crazy? But I digress. 

Being a grandfather is my highest calling and one that I take seriously. I really enjoy conversations with my grandsons. It allows them to know me and for me to know them better every time we talk. Right at the time of this writing, the middle grandson is bringing me his laptop so we can discuss his grades. We will discuss every subject and what he liked or disliked about them and discuss what he has learned this quarter. I can't wait; this is going to be a total gas.

Hassle

Hassle

 

I got good news today, and bad news today first comes the bad news. I have a trip to help a friend and his wife move to Sunny Florida from Ft Leavenworth, KS. We have been friends for 48 years, so I will come when the man and his wife call. I even received a kitchen pass from my household 6, permitting me to go. To hang out with my friend, a prominent member of my inner counsel, and his wife for a week on a road trip; Oh heck yea!!! I’m leaving sometime later this month. No dates as I’m still practicing OPSEC. I won’t be posting any pictures until my return either. The Good news is I bought a nice steel-sided, locking single pistol case. I was planning on being armed traveling as the states we will be going through are constitutional carry states. Now for the bad news. I can’t ship it. I was confused at first because upon moving to my present location, I sent them to myself here from New Mexico. I now have to think of an alternative way of getting the mission accomplished. My first thought was to take it through the TSA process. I’m thinking no seeing one of my stops is in DC, a nonstarter. So, I will have to think of something. There is no way I am going through Washington DC with a pistol. Because “I going to the joint for the man. I will think of an alternative, but the classification of that information prevents its disclosure. 

Proverbs 2

 Proverbs 2

 

1. My son, if thou wilt receive my words, and hide my commandments with thee;

2 So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding;

3 Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding.

4 If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures;

5 Then shalt thou understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.

6 For the Lord giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding

            The proceeding scripture is a warning to listen to sound judgment and wisdom; to memorize the commandment of the Lord, and apply oneself to its application. It should be as valuable to you as silver, gold, or hidden treasure. You will have the understanding and fear (reverence) of the Lord and learn of the knowledge that God has for each one of us

7 He layeth up sound wisdom for the righteous: he is a buckler to them that walk uprightly.

8 He keepeth the paths of judgment, and preserveth the way of his saints.

9 Then shalt thou understand righteousness, judgment, and equity; yea, every good path.

10 When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul;

Sound wisdom is stored for the righteous. He (God) is a buckler to them that walk with honorable and moral status. Note: a buckler is a handheld shield; it is usually round. It is held in the right hand for defense while the offensive weapon, the sword, is held in the right hand. God makes directions clear and concise and preserves the way of those that serve him. Following his wisdom will give understanding to righteousness, judgment, and fairness. When wisdom takes residence in the heart, the knowledge of it is pleasant to the soul

11 Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee:

12 To deliver thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that speaketh froward things;

13 Who leave the paths of uprightness, to walk in the ways of darkness;

14 Who rejoice to do evil, and delight in the frowardness of the wicked;

15 Whose ways are crooked, and they froward in their paths:

 

 

 

            Making a sound decision will preserve the saint's knowledge and maintain their safety. These things will deliver the saint from the evil man, who speaks froward things. Froward: a person that is in the habit of being disobedient and in opposition. People who are excited to do evil enjoy being rebellious and wicked. They are dishonest in their dealings and contrary. These are those who leave the path set before them to do what is wrong and walk in the discipline of evil deeds.

 

16 To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words;

17 Which forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the covenant of her God.

18 For her house inclineth unto death, and her paths unto the dead.

19 None that go unto her return again, neither take they hold of the paths of life.

            To save the saint from the woman (or anyone) who flatters a person with their words using flattery to manipulate a person to do things they would not normally do. These people have forgotten the sound lessons of their youth and the promise they made to God. Their ways lead to death, and her road leads to the place of the dead. Anyone that commits to that path will not return nor hold to the things that pertain to life.

20 That thou mayest walk in the way of good men and keep the paths of the righteous.

21 For the upright shall dwell in the land, and the perfect shall remain in it.

22 But the wicked shall be cut off from the earth, and the transgressors shall be rooted out of it.

            By following these instructions, the good man (person) will keep the path of righteousness, for the upright shall live in the land, and the best of those will remain in it. However, the wicket shall be ostracized, and those that violate this trust will be rooted out of it.

 

           

            

What does Papi look like

                                                   What does Papi look like

                                                                            or

                                                 (What does Marcellus Wallace look like)

 

I have interesting conversations with my seven-year-old grandson Jackson. As I overslept yesterday, he headed up the stairs to my bedroom to make sure that I was awake this morning. Today I asked, "would you like me to fix you some oatmeal" To which he said yes, Papi. Then he continues Papi; it would be nice (if you liked me) for you to make oatmeal….   FULL STOP. What did you say, son? After he repeated himself. I asked, "why would you add that to what I already told you I wanted to do." at that point, I wasn't angry in the least, but I turned in that direction. Then I thought I could have some fun with this.

Son, do you know what a puppet is? He explained it's a toy that moved using strings to seem real. Good, that's correct. I must ask you Do I look like a toy? Am I this puppet to be led around the room? He answered No, Papi. Smiling, I said, you do not treat people like that. You should be direct in what you want and answer questions directly when asked. Playing the guilt game is not a good way to deal with another human being. Being direct is best because there is less room for misunderstanding. Do you know what the word manipulation means? No Papi, it is the way people get others to do things that they may or may not want to do. It's like saying that if you want me to love you, you will do this or that for me. This is playing on the affection or love that a person feels to make them do something that they do not want to do or to make sure that they do this particular thing for you. That is wrong and sometimes evil.

My wandering mind thought of Pulp Fiction and the dialog between Jules Winfield (Samuel L Jackson) and the dearly soon-to-be departed Brett (Frank Whaley) at the movie's beginning. At that thought, I just smiled. Jackson and I have conversations daily on various things. Like how some meals get ravenously consumed and others he plays with then ask with that childlike wonder, "Papi, can I have a popsicle now" when it's the latter, I say no, son, not at this moment, but you can later. "When Papi?" when you stop playing with your dinner. I have no problem with you saying you are full. That's no problem; however, when you come back an hour later saying you are hungry, that is an issue. 

Proverbs 1 and explanation

 Proverbs 1

This one is self-explanatory. As it is the introduction to the book and its aim. Written by Solomon the King of Israel, the son of David.

2. its purpose is to develop Wisdom and instruction

3 instructions for prudent (careful) behavior doing the right thing, and being fair.

4 for giving prudence to the simple, which in this case means gullible naive easily directed to evil things.

5. those that are wise will hear and add to their education and guidance

6 to understand the riddles of the wise.

7 the fear of the lord (meaning reverence) is the beginning of knowledge, but the fool will despise (hate or not accept) Wisdom or instruction.

This is the end of the introduction of the book of proverbs. The preface of the book.

 

8 Listen to my son to your father's instruction and do not forsake (dismiss) your mother's teaching.

9 for they are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck

 One's father, mother, adult in a position of care for one has the responsibility under God for raising their charges in instructions in proper living. A garland represents a mark of honor or an award for excellence.

10 My son, if sinful men entice you, do not give into or join with them. 

There is a saying that states that one is known by the company that they keep. If a person's associates are people of good quality, it will affect the quality of all those around them. It does not work in reverse. A single person will not easily or at all affect the dynamic of the group.

11 if they say come along with us, let.s lie in wait for innocent blood, let us lurk secretly for the innocent without cause.

12 let us swallow them alive like the grave lets and whole like those that go down to the pit

These two verses describe the process that people are drawn into the evil of criminal behavior. The group dynamic causes people to do things that they would not usually do just to be accepted. For example, Jumping out of an airplane is not an exercise that most people would do "just because." However, when done in a group setting, as in jump school for the military, it is more acceptable as all share the burden, and a person is much more likely to participate in that atmosphere. This is the importance of having your peers be of equal or higher quality than oneself or conduct themselves more acceptably.

 

13. We will find all kinds of precious possessions we will fill our houses with the Spoil

14. cast your lot amongst us; let us have one purse

These two proverbs are reasons they participate in the misdeeds; it is for gain that has not been earned. Not by hard work but by thievery. When it is time to pay for the group's deeds, being associated with the group exposes all the group's punishments. All participants will be subject to the same punishment. For example: if someone is involved in criminal activity and someone is hurt or killed, that punishment is applied to all that were associated with that act. 

15. My son do not walk in the way with them do not consider going in their direction

16 for their feet run to evil, and they make haste to shed blood.

            These two proverbs encourage the wise not to walk or even consider going in the direction of those that participate in that practice. As they are quick to hurt others for fun and or profit.

17. Surely In vain, the net is spread in the sight of any bird.

18. And they lay wait for their own blood; they lurk privily for their own lives

19 So are the ways of everyone that is greedy of gain which taketh the lives of the owners thereof.

            It is futile to set up a trap when the victim is can see and is aware of the trap.

The trap will be turned around on the trapper, and it will be them that will be the victim of the trap set for others. This is how the greedy that look to take the lives of the people they seek to hurt.

20. wisdom crieth without; she utterth her voice in the streets:

21 she crieth in the chief place of concourse, in the opening of the gates: in the city, she utters her words saying  

22. How long ye simple ones will ye love simplicity? And the scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge.

23. Turn you at my reproof: Behold I will pour out my spirit unto you I will make known my words unto you

Wisdom is represented in the feminine form, as it is meant to be reproduced to duplicate itself in like-kind Wisdom cries out for an audience in the main concourses of business, in the city's entrances, and states her case. How long will the ignorant remain ignorant and those that scoff and dismiss Wisdom and the foolish do not seek to enlighten and educate themselves? If at any time that you turn and listen to Wisdom, I will not withhold any knowledge from you I will make my knowledge evident to you

24. Because I have called and, and ye refused; I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded.

25. But ye have set at naught all my counsel, and none of my reproof:

26 I will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh

            Because I (Wisdom) have done my best to instruct you, and you have refused to listen to reason, I will laugh at your misfortune the problems that would have been avoided if you would listen. I will make an example of you an object of disdain and derision.

27. when your fear cometh as desolation and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress cometh upon you

28. Then they will call upon me, but I will not answer, they will seek me early, but they shall not find me  

            When you fear the consequences of your inaction on my warnings, and those consequences are coming very quickly, you will call for me, but I will remain silent. You will look for me earnestly but will not find me.

29 For they have hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the lord.

30. They would none of my counsel: and despised all my reproof.

31 They will have the result of their going their own way and be filled with the things that they bring into their own lives.

32. For the turning away of the simple will slay them, and the prosperity of fools shall destroy them.

33. But those that harken unto me shall dwell safely and shall be quiet from the fear of evil.

            Because they have hated good counsel, and did not choose the fear of the lord, had nothing to do with my counsel, and would not listen to sound instruction. They will suffer the benefits of their folly and the pain it causes. The turning away of these simple minds shall be their demise. The false foolish concept of prosperity shall be the cause of their destruction. However, those that choose to listen will be safe and live a quiet life away from evil.

 

           

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Tabled Discussion

 A Tabled Discussion

 

On the way home from church yesterday, my grandson and I had a conversation (as we always do). The question was, Papi. “Women have babies, right?’ after a pause, I said yes, that is correct. Knowing the next question, I waited for it. Why is that Papi? Well, son, it was set up that way from the beginning. You will notice in the real world the female of the species, well 99% of the has babies. Some species can change, but those exceptions you will learn in school. 

I’m at this point are having very many thoughts. Namely, how do I deal with this in the 21^st century with the ambient level of craziness is at an all-time high. I know the truth of it. Just how to present it to this inquisitive young man is the issue. I can do the whole biological thing as I believe the science, as Biology is a science, and the biblical as I believe they can coexist in a well-balanced human being. So, I made my decision and said…  Well, son, I promise to discuss this with you in detail. However, I am not prepared to do it with you today. I believe this is a discussion is better suited for when you are Donovan’s age, and you will be better prepared to understand what I am going to tell you much better than you can understand it today. I do promise to explain it to you. Is that OK with you? Jackson replied, yes, Papi, it is OK. I was now considering what in the Sam Hill am I going to tell this young man. I was relieved that I did not have to go through that process, but I will be prepared to complete that task when the time comes 5 years from now.