My Friend

 “Was a naturally Heroic SOB.”

I mourn For my friend, knowing him was a highlight of my life. I have a few good friends. He was the "I can call at 3 AM and know he would be there kind of friend". That is a more select group.  Those friends that are in this Group are far fewer in number. This is as it should be. One's trusted confidants should be a select group of the most successful and loyal counselors. I came to him with some of my most important decisions. One of these decisions was on what should I do now that I have met after meeting the woman that eventually became my wife.  The advice I received from the pair Derek and his bride led directly to me being the patriarch of my new family and all the grandchildren that have followed.

 I did not know Derek the way I did upon his return from his initial victory from a disease that took him out of the workplace, for I think a year.  Before that, he was one of those scientific types that worked on the main floor at Test Group.  I got to know him as a member of the "irreverent three." And our carpool to and from Test Group until I departed for El Paso for another job. What I learned from Derek is to be a genuine person. I looked at his family, and I found a cohesive family and dedicated to one another. His relationship with his wife was one to be emulated. When I say cohesive, I mean they were a single unit consisting of 4 members (and the pets of course) I saw them choose each other when outside pressures were applied to their relationship, as is in the case of every successful family relationship.  In a way, it was good that I got to know him later, as he introduced me to the beauty that is Patron tequila in all its various flavors.

 I never felt unwelcome when I was with them, as their place was a place of refuge, an oasis of good times, and fun. He was the glue to the tailgate scene at NMSU before his departure, and it wasn't the same after his relocation to his new home. It was like losing the center of the rotating space station with the distinct habitats all drifting in their own directions after his families' departure.  For a good part of the time, I was an emotional mess, so his presence was a calming one and an example of what normal looked and felt like. On the day I married, my wife Wanda Derek and Terri were there as part of the celebration.

It should be noted that we had to delay the start of the festivities as there was an NFL Playoff game playing in the background. That being said, He was a tangible example of what was possible and achievable in a relationship.  We had a staff meeting of the irreverent 3 regularly, In fact, two families of the irreverent 3 -1 still meet quarterly, and we sent a pic to Derek for his inclusion to the Group.

What I know this for certain.  He was not content with the status quo. He never gave up, no matter the circumstances. He always looked for a solution, no matter the problem or the issue. I will remember that always. There was one other quality that I noticed with him. He was a scientific type that was at home with Mathematics as he was just hanging out with his friends.  A Brilliant man that had the very uncommon trait of common sense.  In truth, the scientific community at Test Group had a significant number of people, both officer, and civilian, with that quality. Since I saw him almost every day, he stood out from the crowd of other excellent people that I had the privilege of associating with during my time at the Group.

       It regularly seemed my trash cans moved by themselves directly behind my vehicle as I departed for work in the morning to date that phenomena have yet to be explained, I believe it was the work of Gremlins.  When questioned, no one in my carpool seemed to know that could have moved those cans directly behind my car. I guess that will remain an unexplained mystery.

I have never cried as much as I have this last weekend. The news stopped me in the middle of what I was doing. I have been in pretty much in a funk to this date.  Since when have I started crying at a red light when Free Bird came over my radio?  It was Sunday. This event has caused me to reexamine my life once again. To discover what it is to be a friend and to lead a family.  What it is like to be a professional while keeping the essential things in their correct places in one's life.

The passing of this man has divinely touched me. I have known loss; in fact, I lost a good friend while I was at Test Group, and it shook me tremendously.  It is factually incorrect to say this was a loss for it was not (not even close). As we are finite beings with a definite time to be here. From my perspective, he was fully involved in the game all the way until the final buzzer sounded. 

            For His family, I will state. If I am in the area and you need assistance. I will do what I can to help. All one has to do it call, and I will be there. The things that I have learned from him I will take with me to my next locale and will instruct the ones that I love to know if the lessons of being humble and never giving up that I have learned from Derek and Terri.