People in glass houses
Pt 1
`There once was a king in an ancient far away land Populuia, for the land was vast and the people numerous. King Ator (the cunning) had the most opulent of palaces. One day the King’s prophets came to him with a prophecy of conquest and glory. They told the king, “If you conquer the 10 neighboring kingdoms, you will unify the land and have the people worship you as their sovereign lord. To keep the peace, you should marry the most beautiful daughters of the lords of those kingdoms to ensure the unity of the subsequent birthright of the subjects of all the 10 lands. The idea of 10 wives pleased the King, and the King raised an army to make the prophecy come to pass.
When he surveyed the kingdoms, he noted that though they had commerce with each other as the lands had different strengths that were worthy of coveting. All of those lands were sovereign kingdoms to themselves and did not trust their neighbors. The country that was chosen 1st was an Aquaria, a nation with fruitful fields, and a small defensive army. The King sent spies to the land first to find the needs of the farmers of the land, to find a weakness to exploit, and finally, an avenue for conquest. It seemed that the nation needed cultivating equipment of iron. The area had no mineral deposits nor forges to make plows. They used only wooden implements to till the soil and plant the crops for harvest. The King of Populuia had iron ore in abundance. With men cunning in the ways of iron and steel. The Populian swords were folded from an ingot of steel thousands of times. Then quenched in the mineral-rich waters that were found in Populia and were sharp enough to sever the head from a beast in one swing. It is said that those found guilty of the most heinous crimes were relieved when they knew a Populian sword would be used by the executioner as the condemned would feel no pain as the blade passed from side to side without slowing for bone of sinew. The Populian King offered a trade pact with the King of Agraria, with his farming implements in exchange for 5% of the crop that was harvested from Agraria. However, there were not to be iron crafting forges in Agraria. The riddle of steel was to remain forever in Populuia. The Agrarians were at 1st hesitant for a deal, so the King loaned the farming implements for one year for the Agrarians to taste the benefits of a full alliance with Populuia.
The year passed, and the crop increased 100-fold. The alliance with the Agrarians was complete. Populian men and families moved to Agraria and built places of worship and commerce and became an integral part of the Agrarian culture. That, however, was an elaborate ruse to weaken agrarian culture, which worshipped the land whose gods were from the pillars of the earth. As opposed to the gods of the sky that were worshipped in Populuia. The Populians gave their worship to the of the birds of the air. With the emphasis on the birds of prey. With their ability to soar and attack without warning soundlessly from above. At the start of this plan of conquest, the King installed his 18-year-old son as the Prince of the realm. He was trained in the arts of combat from an early age and was sent to the mysterious island realms to learn the mystic skills of bladed and exotic hand to hand combat. The son returned as a captain of the army and trainer of recruits in the combat arts. The Prince also brought back trainers in the combat arts that he learned in the island realm. By the time Prince Ator the 2nd was twenty years old, he had a standing army of 180 thousand. With 10,000 archers, 8000 horses and 12000 heavy mounted infantry, and 12000 operators of siege engines and primitive artillery, the rest were foot soldiers and support elements.
The plan was instigated to bring the lands into conflict. King Ator (the cunning) met with a delegation from Populuia on the prospect of future trade deals. However, the delegation consisted of a few of his imbedded people that insulted the Populian deities, and fighting ensued. The King was outraged at this betrayal. Then immediately sent the Prince and his army to the border to ask that the offenders be turned over for punishment. Several Populian delegates were killed in the fighting. The embedded Populian agents left evidence that pointed to the royal family. King Ator met privately with the King of Agraria with an offer. Abdicate the throne, allow one of your daughters to marry the Prince, and become a province of Populuia. You will remain as sovereign of your land subject only to My Royal household retain the management of your lands, and an Invasion of your territory will be unnecessary. However, we will raise divisions of an army that will wear the colors of Populuia and will be stationed throughout your land to keep the peace. What the King did not say was that troops from Agraria would become part of the expeditionary force. And would be not be returning to their home country for as long as the conquest was ongoing. All the troops that were to be stationed in Agraria would be from Populuia or were immigrants to Agraria from Populuia. In one fell swoop, Populuia conquered Agraria with little loss of life.
King Ator celebrated his victory with a gala party. In this newly constructed crystal palace, the living and administrative areas were made of crystal. This crystal was darkened by mixing natural elements to change the color of the glass to clear to any shade required, even black. The rest of the palace was crystal clear. The ballroom was had a blue hue that matched the regal robes that the Prince and the King wore. The King’s bride wore a lighter shade of blue to denote her royal standing. The party was amazing. There were minstrels from the adjacent lands. And administrators from the same nations that were amazed at the diplomatic acumen of King Ator taking possession of Agraria without bloodshed and with its infrastructure still intact.
There was a hint of a problem tiny, almost invisible cracks were in the throne chamber, the chamber for the thrones from the conquered kingdom. It had just arrived and was gently placed in the room just above the ballroom so the revelers can see the thrones of the defeated kings. The cracked crystal pane was reinforced then replaced with stronger panes of crystal the next day.
There was a meeting in the administrative area with King Ator, his son Ator II and their most trusted generals about the next throne to take. The Prince said, “The King of future nations won’t fall for the same trick. This time we will have to fight. I know this said the King. We must double the army and raise their pay. Give the pay raises to the Agrarians 1st as a reward for faithful service. This will ensure their loyalty in the upcoming campaign.
End of part 1
Tuesday, December 24, 2019
Monday, December 23, 2019
My Friend
“Was a naturally Heroic SOB.”
I mourn
For my friend, knowing him was a highlight of my life. I have a few good
friends. He was the "I can call at 3 AM and know he would be there kind of
friend". That is a more select group.
Those friends that are in this Group are far fewer in number. This is as
it should be. One's trusted confidants should be a select group of the most
successful and loyal counselors. I came to him with some of my most important
decisions. One of these decisions was on what should I do now that I have met
after meeting the woman that eventually became my wife. The advice I received from the pair Derek and
his bride led directly to me being the patriarch of my new family and all the
grandchildren that have followed.
I did not know Derek the way I did upon his
return from his initial victory from a disease that took him out of the
workplace, for I think a year. Before
that, he was one of those scientific types that worked on the main floor at
Test Group. I got to know him as a
member of the "irreverent three." And our carpool to and from Test
Group until I departed for El Paso for another job. What I learned from Derek
is to be a genuine person. I looked at his family, and I found a cohesive
family and dedicated to one another. His relationship with his wife was one to
be emulated. When I say cohesive, I mean they were a single unit consisting of
4 members (and the pets of course) I saw them choose each other when outside
pressures were applied to their relationship, as is in the case of every
successful family relationship. In a
way, it was good that I got to know him later, as he introduced me to the
beauty that is Patron tequila in all its various flavors.
I never felt unwelcome when I was with them,
as their place was a place of refuge, an oasis of good times, and fun. He was
the glue to the tailgate scene at NMSU before his departure, and it wasn't the
same after his relocation to his new home. It was like losing the center of the rotating space
station with the distinct habitats all drifting in their own directions after
his families' departure. For a good part
of the time, I was an emotional mess, so his presence was a calming one and an
example of what normal looked and felt like. On the day I married, my wife
Wanda Derek and Terri were there as part of the celebration.
It should
be noted that we had to delay the start of the festivities as there was an NFL
Playoff game playing in the background. That being said, He was a tangible
example of what was possible and achievable in a relationship. We had a staff meeting of the irreverent 3
regularly, In fact, two families of the irreverent 3 -1 still meet quarterly, and
we sent a pic to Derek for his inclusion to the Group.
What
I know this for certain. He was not content
with the status quo. He never gave up, no matter the circumstances. He always
looked for a solution, no matter the problem or the issue. I will remember that
always. There was one other quality that I noticed with him. He was a
scientific type that was at home with Mathematics as he was just hanging out
with his friends. A Brilliant man that
had the very uncommon trait of common sense.
In truth, the scientific community at Test Group had a significant number
of people, both officer, and civilian, with that quality. Since I saw him almost every
day, he stood out from the crowd of other excellent people that I had the
privilege of associating with during my time at the Group.
It regularly seemed my trash cans moved
by themselves directly behind my vehicle as I departed for work in the morning
to date that phenomena have yet to be explained, I believe it was the work of
Gremlins. When questioned, no one in my
carpool seemed to know that could have moved those cans directly behind my car.
I guess that will remain an unexplained mystery.
I have never cried as much as I have this last weekend. The news stopped me in the
middle of what I was doing. I have been in pretty much in a funk to this
date. Since when have I started crying
at a red light when Free Bird came over my radio? It was Sunday. This event has caused me to
reexamine my life once again. To discover what it is to be a friend and to lead
a family. What it is like to be a
professional while keeping the essential things in their correct places in
one's life.
The passing of this man has divinely touched me. I have known loss; in fact, I lost
a good friend while I was at Test Group, and it shook me tremendously. It is factually incorrect to say this was a
loss for it was not (not even close). As we are finite beings with a definite
time to be here. From my perspective, he was fully involved in the game all the
way until the final buzzer sounded.
For
His family, I will state. If I am in the area and you need assistance. I will
do what I can to help. All one has to do it call, and I will be there. The
things that I have learned from him I will take with me to my next locale and
will instruct the ones that I love to know if the lessons of being humble and
never giving up that I have learned from Derek and Terri.
Thursday, November 28, 2019
I’m Trying to Be Nice
I made a mistake yesterday, but I believe in a way it
was a good one. It allows me to express my feelings to make it completely and
entirely and crystal clear and to put everyone on notice that from this point forward I will
speak my mind and not be swayed by any of the circus animals. I tend to be
obtuse. I see threads of thought where others see black and white. I am a
student of history. I tend to remember things from the past that reoccur today.
Example: a Candidate for president espoused rescinding the medals from the
military men that participated in the Wounded Knee operation. Knowing about
that operation (which consisted of mostly unarmed women and children), I can
see the candidates' points. However, that took place in 1873 in case one does
not have their calculator handy that 146 years ago. What’s the F’n Point. Now my brain gets
activated WHY would some supposed intelligent person propose that. In a word
POLITICS, which my operational definition is a lion and a tiger arguing over who
bites harder and will hurt you less. When each of them will kill you, eat you,
and leave you graveyard dead if left unchecked.
The check is the literal
Constitution of the United States. I have no idea as to why would a group of
men would willingly limit their power. Oh,
don’t get me wrong they F’d up as well as Dred Scott, and the Fugitive slave act was done
on their watch as well. Let’s pick a
couple. NO, not the second, even though
I am a fan of that one. Let’s try the 1st and the 4th
Speech and illegal search and seizure.
For the 1st pick any college campus that is in the University
of California system. How saying this
simple phrase will possibly get one the possibility of getting their azz
whupped that phrase I'm thinking of is one I heard in church a while ago and
never forgot " I BELIEVE IN ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM AND STEVE" I don't
give a rats ass what Adam and Steve do. If I own an apartment complex as long
as A&S pays the rent and respect the other people in the complex I don't
care. That doesn't mean I approve,
reserve my approval for what I accept. That young couple in the same
apartment complex that is living together doing whatever with her in the family
condition and unmarried. .It's their right I don't have to like it, as its Adam
& Steve's right. Now for the 4th
Illegal search and seizure where. Do I begin ok let's talk about the florist
that is traveling to South America for some rare tropical flowers carrying
cash, let's say over 9,999 dollars in cash — having that money seized and
called drug money without due process of law?
Consider the cleaning business that makes cash deposits of the same
amounts to the bank because hanging on to that much cash is dangerous (every
day). Theirs are sized as well also without due process.
I’m trying to be nice. I
have friends that have been friends for over 40 years. I have one I’ve known for 45 years that I go
to when I don’t know what I’m doing and need advice. (yea you Kansas boy) The other friends have
opinions that I respect don’t agree all the time, but respect. I played
Trombone when I was 13 years old when I found out my grandson picked the
Trombone. I was a Proud PAPI and sent my grandson a pic of me with my Trombone
from 1969. I reached out to another might I say "excellent" trombone
musician that who's family were instrumental in me making the transition from
South Central Los Angeles to retiring from the USAF, now about to retire from
civil service. That's like 39 years working for the government (Dayum, just
Dayum). The Excellent trombone musician and I don't agree on everything, and we
don't have to. I loved his parents, and I love him and his family, that's
enough.
Now for me the trying to
be nice. Yesterday I sent something out
that I would never have if I would have read it thoroughly. Not the quote, but the
opinion of the person that sent it. (MY BAD) I was accosted by three friends
that had a differing idea of the sentiments of the person that sent it. With
the intent of either convincing me of the error of my ways at best or berating
me at worst, I have love and respect for all three persons. Remember the part where I spoke of Politics
earlier with the Lion and Tiger. I don't
dance. It was suggested that I start caring for the sake of my grandkids. Other
than that, personal foul, it did hurt coming from a former colleague, I was in
no way going to do that. Because a few years ago, I adopted an ancient
philosophy that philosophy was Stoicism, having read the meditations of Marcus
Aurelius, which was a journal to himself that has been passed down through the
ages. It spoke to me and changed my life. Things outside of my control have no
power over the essence of me, and I do not participate in activities that cause
me to invest negative emotions into stuff like Politics. My time will be spent teaching my kids and
grandkids (the ones that will listen) the values of giving and receiving
respect, the avoidance of debt, and how to emotionally and physically defend one’s
self. On that last part defending one's self, I have associated with several
military men in the combat arms world.
In my experience, the
kindest and nicest men have been folks at the sharp end of the spear. It was a
couple of force recon marines and a retired seal from the Viet Nam era.
Seriously a brown water navy sailor I met both of them coaching little league
football as I coached their sons. The latter I had no idea until I met him in
the Wal mart in Alamogordo where he told me he was a Seal in Vietnam as a
student of history I knew about his unit's actions and was moved to tears,
shook his hand and said it is beautiful to know you and your son. Excuse my
digression now back to the issue of teaching my grandkids. These men are kind
because they know what unkindness is like they are confident because they know
what fear because of their experience. They are grateful because they survived
it all. I want to assist in instilling
those virtues to my children and grandchildren so they can be productive, not
parasites. I do this for selfish reasons
I know the pain of that call from a kid that is hurting and wishing for that
pain to fall on me because I know I can take it.
For the people who
identify as lions or tigers, I state. If your meaning is to scold me for my
opinion after my apology, as I was wrong to use that offering in the form in
which it was presented, I will assume it is not accepted. Those individuals
will have the opportunity to influence me any longer. If it was to convince me to pick the lion and
tiger camp, feel free to present a compelling argument for stated belief, and I
will consider it. Consider it; I will change my mind probably not. I was supposed to write something else. A continuation of a story about a sociopath
that uses the political climate to kill (always in self-defense). An article
about a discussion at a recent funeral where another good friend stated an
opinion that they believed so strongly that they refused even to hear my reason
for my decision. It would have been cool
if it wasn't a member of my old church family and former mentor. And finally,
an analysis of my recent Hard Drive upgrade to the M.2 format and the speed
increase that I have been enjoying. I do give a measure of thanks to my three
friends. That gave me the impetus to get my fingers on slamming the keyboard
once again.
Tuesday, September 17, 2019
THAT Shiznet dont look right
That Shiznet doesn’t look
right.
Its
all in the optics
I find myself with an hour on my hands, so I was going
to wait, but since I have the time here goes.
Let’s start with a couple of scriptures just for
background.
The 1st Romans 14:46 Do not let your good
be spoken as evil.
The 2nd 1st Thessalonians 5:22 Abstain
from all appearance of evil
The way Optics is meant in this offering is as follows.
(typically, in a political context) how
an event or course of action is perceived by the public.
"The issue itself is secondary to the optics of
the Democrats opposing this administration in a high-profile way."
Ok that being said, let's
start. The Vice President of the United States has a stated policy of never
being alone with a member of the opposite sex in an official or unofficial meeting
without the presence of his wife. It would
seem in the Post Weinstein era that would be reasonable. (especially for a politician)
It, however, in this world of Me2 seen as not inclusive. Every good boxer knows the instructions “defend
yourself at all times” and in these times not only do you not have to be there
to be accused with the supposed accuser having no recollection of an incident
one can find themselves in a world of hurt not knowing the cause. Motive yes
cause smaybe. If the accuser doesn’t
know then (who do?)
I was a former NCO had the
displeasure of counseling a female airman for misconduct. There was no way in
the world I was going to do that alone. I would enlist the support of the
highest-ranked female NCO in the unit to sit in on the counseling session. The NCO sat out of the direct line of sight of the
person being counseled, and when the meeting was complete, I asked. Is that about
it, Sarge? To which the Sergeant would answer, that’s just fine. The look on the counseled person was
priceless. You see the person in question would play that victim card, and I was
not going to be the subject of that mess.
Some of us have an innate
desire to help people. When it’s a person of the opposite sex, it gets
complicated. It could not look quite
right. There can be a legitimate need out there that one is uniquely able to
meet. Just know in those exceptional cases where a person’s gender is involved it
can just look funky. Of all my friends at work, less than 5 get hugs the rest
get fist bumps. (until such time as that becomes taboo too) The qualification is
that I have worked closely with them for over 2 years, they know my wife, and
we have mutual respect for each other finally they are not single. My job requires me to see a lot of people in and
out of my office. Some ground rules (even though unspoken) are necessary. Be ready for the outside comments by friends,
family, and even enemies on how it looks on the outside looking in. My measuring stick is. If you saw this on TV,
would one reasonably think that the person has lost their mind? Do we have a
jerry springer incident about to occur? If the answer is no, then press on if
the answer is yes, be on the lookout because you may not know who is looking
and more importantly thinking.
Wednesday, August 14, 2019
The Hat..
The Hat
And the man under it.
The man missed combat, it made him feel
alive. A roadside bomb ended his career as a Tier 1 operator when he was in his
prime. This 26-year-old went through rehab, took his disability pension, went
to school, and became a successful accountant. But the urge for action burned
within him. He took Krav Maga, Aikido, and Brazilian Jujitsu which somewhat
satisfied his need for combat. He even fought in a couple of amateur tournaments.
He was good, but it wasn’t enough for
him. He wanted more. While sitting in his living room watching the report of an
individual getting beaten for wearing a hat, he thought they would not do that
to someone that could defend themselves. Hell, I can protect myself. I have a right to
wear any hat at any time but, I have to be smart about it. I have to be totally
blameless. And that’s how it all began.
It had to be clearly self-defense. It cannot be initiated by the man as he thought when his
training took a turn toward viciousness when he explored the less conventional
techniques of his martial arts training. Methods were not acceptable for tournaments.
The deadlier, the better. This man was
not a Psychopath, not ruled by emotion. However, he had an itch that needed
scratching. The man then went to bladed combat, namely Indonesian Silat,. It's very similar to
the combatives training taught to him in the military but, with a really
more significant edge to them. The man took to these techniques like a duck to water, and
two years later he believed he was ready to apply his new skills. Now the focus was on how not go to jail. How to
get away with murder. Well, it's not murder if one is being attacked, the defense
must be scalable to the threat and stop when the assailant stops, as anything
extra is a sure way to the jailhouse. He did notice that those that initiated
this behavior is expecting someone that does not want combat. Not someone that secretly craved for it. Not a person that internally desired, no longed to see the look in their eyes when doom was imminent. Now if the assailant would just to go about their business., nothing would happen. This will lead to a lot of misses, but
the hits will be spectacular and challenging to prove malice. He has to be the one under control the one
that is the person avoiding conflict until that 5 seconds that will be the
payoff.
Now he needed legal protection he bought insurance that would provide for free legal defense if he is arrested defending himself. He then took a vacation to the location of a rally where the unhinged will come out and make themselves available. He saw this hat someone was holding the person approached him and stated, “hey man want one” want what the man replied this hat. He had seen that hat before it was red with the statement “Make America Great Again,” The man said sure thanks what would you want for it. The person said just for you to wear it. The man said thanks, and he thought “this will be perfect” So the two of them went toward a massive group of people shouting at each other. The man did not participate in this activity but made himself available for ridicule. Nothing really happened to that point, it was after the event while eating a burger when he was approached by 3 Individuals that did not look happy. He saw them long before they saw him and “that hat.” They approached him, cursing him, and he stood to face them. “Hey man, I just want to eat my burger in peace” I’ll go my way, and you can go yours, what do you say?” We say take off that hat it's racist. The man said people are racist not objects you guys are making me a little nervous could you step back a bit. Now the man knew that there was a camera behind him, he also knew that it was working as he asked before ordering a meal. So when the 1st person reached for his hat, he took a step back and said: “we don’t have to do this, someone will get hurt.” They said since it was 3 of them, we know. Without Another word, the man’s hand shot put putting his thumb in the eye of attacker 1 leaving him stunned then stepped to the 2nd attacker and performed s perfect a knee strike to the attacker's solar plexus putting him out of the fight. Turning to the 3rd attacker who had just drawn a knife. The man put the attacker's hand in a joint lock bending the arm back toward his attacker and slowly plunged the knife into his assailant. Then with his hands securely around the hands of the attacker’s knife jerked up the blade 3 times mortally wounding the assailant who writhed with a fatal knife wound to his liver? The man turned to the 1st assailant still rubbing his eyes. And said call 911 and get an ambulance for your guy and ill try to stop the bleeding “SOMEONE CALL 911" and get a towel. While applying pressure to the wound, he whispered in the man’s ear. "Thanks, buddy I was looking for someone just like you to KILL." The man legitimately tried to save him even though he knew there was nothing he could do to save him. He knew exactly where to put the knife to do the most damage. That itch was scratched as the man slipped into unconsciousness as the ambulance arrived. The man felt a tremor of satisfaction that he suppressed, but would fully enjoy later.
Now he needed legal protection he bought insurance that would provide for free legal defense if he is arrested defending himself. He then took a vacation to the location of a rally where the unhinged will come out and make themselves available. He saw this hat someone was holding the person approached him and stated, “hey man want one” want what the man replied this hat. He had seen that hat before it was red with the statement “Make America Great Again,” The man said sure thanks what would you want for it. The person said just for you to wear it. The man said thanks, and he thought “this will be perfect” So the two of them went toward a massive group of people shouting at each other. The man did not participate in this activity but made himself available for ridicule. Nothing really happened to that point, it was after the event while eating a burger when he was approached by 3 Individuals that did not look happy. He saw them long before they saw him and “that hat.” They approached him, cursing him, and he stood to face them. “Hey man, I just want to eat my burger in peace” I’ll go my way, and you can go yours, what do you say?” We say take off that hat it's racist. The man said people are racist not objects you guys are making me a little nervous could you step back a bit. Now the man knew that there was a camera behind him, he also knew that it was working as he asked before ordering a meal. So when the 1st person reached for his hat, he took a step back and said: “we don’t have to do this, someone will get hurt.” They said since it was 3 of them, we know. Without Another word, the man’s hand shot put putting his thumb in the eye of attacker 1 leaving him stunned then stepped to the 2nd attacker and performed s perfect a knee strike to the attacker's solar plexus putting him out of the fight. Turning to the 3rd attacker who had just drawn a knife. The man put the attacker's hand in a joint lock bending the arm back toward his attacker and slowly plunged the knife into his assailant. Then with his hands securely around the hands of the attacker’s knife jerked up the blade 3 times mortally wounding the assailant who writhed with a fatal knife wound to his liver? The man turned to the 1st assailant still rubbing his eyes. And said call 911 and get an ambulance for your guy and ill try to stop the bleeding “SOMEONE CALL 911" and get a towel. While applying pressure to the wound, he whispered in the man’s ear. "Thanks, buddy I was looking for someone just like you to KILL." The man legitimately tried to save him even though he knew there was nothing he could do to save him. He knew exactly where to put the knife to do the most damage. That itch was scratched as the man slipped into unconsciousness as the ambulance arrived. The man felt a tremor of satisfaction that he suppressed, but would fully enjoy later.
The
Police arrived and questioned the man. The man stated he was unarmed and that
the person who was stabbed and on the way to the hospital brought the knife with him as
It wasn’t his. He also said to the police I tried to avoid the conflict
(which was true) The man was taken into custody and taken to the station. The man
knew this was going to happen. He was questioned, and when the tape was reviewed was then released as it was evident that the man was acting in self-defense and was not held. He was
not arrested, just questioned and released. The man gave his data to the
officers and went to his home. That data was for a local address that was
established before this incident started (Proper Planning Prevents Pitiful
Performance). Upon arrival home, the man
logged on to his computer and checked the social media presence for the
event. The fight was there with someone’s
cell phone video. Good, it turned out
better than he expected. The man had an
online persona that was separate from his real name and occupation. A second false
electronic presence that was totally different from who and what he was. The man
went to work the next Monday after his vacation refreshed. When he was asked,
why are you so chipper. He said, “I went out of town on vacation to get an itch
scratched and man it sure was. The man thought about how I can get another adrenal hit like that one
Sunday, July 14, 2019
My FIVE!!!
My Five
I was
Taught that one’s life is the sum total of ones five closest friends. These are
my five as of this date in 2019
They are
(initial’s only) MB, DR, HP, RM, and CH. And a couple of honorable mentions. I
know their families, and there are only excellent and impressive folks that
anyone can look up to. I will show the aspects of these my friends “M.B. the
Balanced one” D.R. the Strong one” R.M. the Steadfast one. H.P. the Man of
Faith C.H. The professional. I also have a couple of honorable mentions R, C,
and S, D.
M, B, The
Balanced Family man. MB is in my five because he has taken the road that was
bumpy and has come out on the other side.
He has taught at the college level and has a successful business. His
experience, whether it is how things have changed in the US military, or just
shooting the breeze to teaching me the correct technique for trigger pull to keep the
holes on the paper and not in the dirt next to it. He has been a fountain of
excellent advice over the years I have known him. I 1st met him in 2002, and we
have been friends since the initial meet.
However, the thing that stands out the most is how he relates to his
grandchildren. We have something that we
all share, we are patriarchs of blended families; we have been married before.
I, however, took it to an extreme with my four previous attempts that had ended
for one reason or another that left me in a miserable state in 2006 when I
prayed (in tears) for another chance. That prayer was answered with the family
that calls me PAPI today. He is an
example to me of what I can be as a grandfather, and as a person.
D.R “The
man that will never quit” He, M, B and I are the trio that refers to themselves
as the “Irreverent Three” for the carpool we participated in during my time at
Holloman AFB during my employment in my 2nd career as a computer tech. Where do
I start with him? Diagnosed with a
severe illness before we really met his drive and fire allowed him to drive
through his treatment returning to work months later, upon his return, he was
just as productive as ever. His example that stands out is the love he has for
his family and his family for him. Before he moved to his next employment
location, we would have quarterly staff meetings for the Irreverent Three at a
local restaurant. This was an event
where the spouses would attend, and we would laugh and reflect on the previous
4 months and have a ball with the stuff that had happened seeing it was amusing
4 months later.
Additionally, his trailer was the meetup the place before NMSU
football games where libations and tailgate cuisine was consumed with
gusto. The strength of the bond between
him and his wife TR is one of the strongest I have witnessed. They stick with
each other like glue and always have each other’s backs. They live daily the
admonition. “What God has joined together let no man put asunder” I’ve seen it
in action, and it’s a beautiful thing to behold. Recently he has fallen ill
with a similar malady as the 1st time, and through it all, he and his espoused
are as steadfast as ever.
R, M the
Straight shooter. I have known RM for over 45 years. We literally spent summers
elbow to elbow marching and making music until he departed for the ARMY in
1976. The exciting thing is that we had not seen each other in the intervening
years until 2001 shortly before I retired from the USAF. He knows 2 of my former spouses. That’s how
far we go back. We have some fascinating
history, in 2005 I baptized him in the Gulf of Mexico after expressing his wish
to be. When he visited me on his way to see his family, as I was strategically
placed on his route home, he would stay and attend church with us. I have known
his bride for just as long as I have known him. As we would be together every
summer from 1974 until we aged out or moved on to the next adventure, marching
and playing music. (that’s another story.) During that trip to beautiful Ft
Walton Beach, FL. We discussed the
trials that he and his bride were going through as a result of a severe illness.
After being told her news with a date stating when it would all end, I am proud
to announce that she is still here keeping him and indirectly me in line
especially when I found myself in an unsupervised state (divorced.) My Wife WC and her hit it off, and they got
along like sisters after only one meeting.
The only disappointment was that he departed from that lovely area (the
Redneck Rivera) to Ft Leavenworth KS. Before you ask, he just works there, and
I visited them there as well. He owns
property in the Sarasota area (Sunny Florida), and I have been informed that I
am welcome to come to see him at any time. That is so happening. Recently we
had a form of the last supper together. We last met during a TDY (Temporary
Duty) in El Paso. It was the last
supper as it was about a week before my Gastric Bypass Surgery. Bout the
straight shooter bit. I recently sold my Camaro and cleared several bills to
become debt-free as I am planning to retire in the next few years. He wrote,
and I quote. “I see you have grown up
and stopped driving your D##K around” I immediately called him and asked him.
“Do you know why I love you brother, because you only have one pitch, not the
curve, nor the slider, nor the off-speed. No, you throw straight HEAT, and it’s
just how I hate it high and tight. I can rely on him always telling the truth
(albeit) from his perspective.
H, P the
Man of faith. HP and I were at one
point, attended the same church. I was on the ministry team which ended through
my error of judgment, based on my anger (that’s for my memoirs) There was a
point in time where there were difficult times for my brother. when he called,
I opened the church so we could pray together for a resolution to the issue
(which has been resolved) in a fantastic way.
During this period, he left for an assignment at another base, as he was
on active duty a little longer than I. I traveled to his location more than
once to encourage him. I took a road
trip to see him (with the new Camaro) for a trip to Dallas. We had some great
food, great conversation, and perfect times.
I’ve gone to see him several times over the last few years, and it never
gets old. Whenever trouble appears, and
we have our phone call, I would only ask one question when the subject comes
up. What did your mother say? You know
we are of one mind on this, and you know what she would say. Bout that resolution of his previous
situation. The best analogy is to refer to the latter end of a JOB when he got
all his stuff back with interest. My friend is a software developer, Ph.D.
Candidate and an Instructor at an online university. No matter the time we are apart, his counsel
is valued. When I am in trouble spiritually, I call him.
C, H. the
Tenacious one. This man I have known since on or about 2002. His family are
great people (as are all the rest of my 5) it was my pleasure to work with him
during my time working at Holloman AFB NM. Now there is another person that
gets mentioned with this association is R who works hand in hand with C, Hand is just as dedicated this is for him ROLL TIDE!
Unbeknownst to me, I met his espoused at the end of my time on active duty
during my last duty assignment. R's wife was the command administrative
professional. The same thing goes for his family as well. I saw their kids grow
up to be superb human beings. What I
remember about C, H her was there for me when I was about to make a big
mistake. Not only did he step in to defuse this situation, but he also advised
me of the error I was about to make saving my azz in the process.
When I lost a close friend at the beginning phases of a relationship, he was
there for me through my emotional mess, losing someone suddenly like that. As
if that was not enough. He was the 1st person I introduced my current espoused
to when I took her on one of our 1st dates. It wasn’t planned that way;
However, when I entered the restaurant “Mimi’s café, our two became 4 at the
table immediately. They were pleased with the prospect of me (the crazy
divorced guy running wild) settling down with someone that I could take home to
mother. Since mom and dad were watching from above, they were the next best
thing. I will state that there were a lot of introductions during this period,
but this is about the “5” I will write on the person that saved my bacon to
keep me from living in my car in another tale of transition. He (the devil) got me interested in putting
holes in paper on the range and was generous to a fault. He has had health challenges as of late, and
when one of them put him in a hospital in Las Cruces, I left work in El Paso to
let him know I had his back. Whenever I get a free evening, I try to go to
Alamogordo and set up dinner with his family and talk a lot of stuff in the
friendly way we do.
Honorable
Mentions.
R, C, the
Sage mentor. I worked with R, C during
my time at Bare Base at Holloman AFB from 1996 to the end of my time in the
military. The truth is that I wanted to be like him when I grew up. Heck, I
still do. He knew his job backward and forward, was a world traveler spending
time in several locations (some hotspots) as a civilian worker. Tropics, deserts, you name it he went there.
Additionally, he has remained in excellent shape and staying tremendously
healthy and fit even to this day. He has encouraged me to continue writing and
gives me the inspiration to continue my growth as a person and a writer. Every time we communicate, I learn something
new. I just recently (within the last 3
Years) found that we are really close to the same age. To quote Anthony Hopkins in The Edge, “If
one can do so can another”
S, D Give
me liberty or give me death. S, D was
one of my 1st Sergeants that I remain friends with to this day. Totally down to
earth there is no sugarcoating, there are no apologies, and there is no room for
anyone that doubts his dedication to the republic for which it stands. When he
takes a stand on principle it without reservation or apology, It’s been too
long since we have sat down for lunch. His tenacity for the truth is what I
respect in him. I will tell a joke that
he said at my retirement luncheon. “When
Sergeant Crawford joined the military there were only two Major commands…. Mount and dismount. Much
respect S, D
J.C "Sensi" and I met in 1996 during
the drawdown in my career. I had
significant anxiety about my coming career change, as though I loved my career
field, I longed for a change becoming an IT professional. He was already there.
We met as coaches of little league football teams. He was an IT contractor for
the Base Hospital. I asked him what do I
need to do to be a computer professional. He actually laid out a plan for
getting this done before my retirement in 2001. I actually followed those
plans, and I had the pleasure of seeing him on the interview board when I
interviewed for the position I currently hold.
He, in fact, works down the hall from me to this day.
His
Strengths are his tenacity and resolve. When he tackles a problem, he stays
with it until its either found impossible or corrects it. Another one of his strengths is his
compassion and dedication, which he possesses in greater quantities than anyone
I have ever known. He is devoted to his
family no matter what. And through the trials “that were intense,” he came
through each of them. With his integrity intact. I have a point where I will go
dark on someone with problems that they refuse to deal with or correct, but he
never does. He remains steadfast throughout.
He is gracious to those not deserving of grace. Lets things develop to
the point where it is evident that its time to move on, but stays a little
longer. He is a man of GOD. Constantly reading the word and refreshing his soul
from it. For those reasons, he should be on my list, and I could not leave him
and the other Honorable mentions not noted. That would be unfair and inaccurate
to not include them as my story is incomplete without them.
Wednesday, June 19, 2019
The Two Most Dangerous words in the world
I
Feel
The
two most dangerous words in the world
The statement "feel" is usually followed in many cases by something totally unprovable.
Let me add the dictionary definition of Unprovable = “unable to be demonstrated by evidence or argument as true or existing."
The weirdest thing I’ve heard was a
demonstrator in some political rally saying, “You don’t understand feelings are facts.”
That’s a significant reason that I don’t watch the news; I do not suffer fools
well. I try to get along with everyone, I will mostly not say much, however,
when someone feels so strongly as to get their emotions involved
and resorting to a possible escalation to violence. That’s where I draw the line. This
is a fact. Binary numbers are represented as ones and zeroes. I don’t feel
that way there is an entire school of mathematics that is dedicated to
exploring that fact. In case one is wondering its Boolean Mathematics. The
weirdest thing someone told me in person is that they feel there are multiple
genders. Now I personally have no problem with anyone living however they
desire. The truth, as explained by the comedian DL Hugley who said." I don’t
care how a person lives if it’s a genetic male sooner or later a doctor will be
inserting a finger up their butt for a prostate exam." They can come dressed to
the nines it doesn’t matter there is only XX, XY and that is fact, not a
feeling. That being said I do not aspire to the thoughts expressed in
Canada that people should be executed for living in the way they choose and not
as stated in this holy book, or should be arrested as promoted by some preacher
to his flock somewhere In the United States. How someone chooses to live their lives is between them and the Almighty. The ironic thing that one
group, in particular, ignores one of these groups and condemns the other but
that’s another story. I’m cool with anyone with the following caveat “Do
not try to harm or hurt me or mine as I get a little protective of my life and
the lives of my family.
I don’t think I told you, but after 5 years of struggling with myself and who I am, I feel (yes, I
said it) that I can consider myself a practicing stoic. I won’t get off
on a tangent and describe what that is, but the gist of it is I am in control
of what I say think and do. My heroes in that philosophy are Socrates, Marcus
Aurelius’ and Epictetus. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius is
excellent reading. I have to deal with what IS not what one wishes
it to be. I have an example it was The feeling in scientific circles that the earth was the center of the
universe, and anyone that did not ascribe to that teaching was a heretic, and
subject of punishment in this world and the next. Nicolaus Copernicus did not
attribute to that thesis and proposed that the sun is the center of the
universe, and spent his life as a mathematician. He has since then been proven
correct.
There are whole industries that want to make the public feel a certain way. Politics,
Religion and Park Avenue are vying for the hearts and minds of the populous.
I believe that to promote an agenda grabbing the heart has been successful from
stealing ancient lands exterminating entire populations and selling a bar of
soap. You know “wonder bread builds strong bodies in (how many ways
again) The most dangerous thing other than throwing people off tall buildings
because of who they fell in love with. Is that in that arena where the
“truth” gets obscured by the smoke of emotion? But the Lie moves forward
carrying away the trusting unknowing that would say, “why would they lie to
me.” Joseph Goebbels once said. If you repeat a lie long enough, it will be accepted as the truth.
Remember the yellow cake uranium that wasn’t there in Iraq http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/07/07/iraq.uranium/
Snopes states that are wasn’t or isn’t true. We find ourselves in
corundum these two sources are opposed to each other. I guess one can go to
Canada and look for one’s self, but both of these sources cannot, by definition,
be true. One of these is spun by a former administration and the other
Turned by a fact check site. As for me it’s easy I don’t believe anyone,
and since I can’t control or manipulate it, I don’t care. What I care
about is treating people based on the content of their character and let people
live their lives the way they want while allowing me to do the same.
Anyone remember how hard it was to get a credit card way back then. These days they are handing them out like candy just go to any university orientation and get a card and a free T-shirt. Ah, the truth is that anyone that has not learned how money works
will get stuff in large quantities because how it makes them (here it comes
again) feel. How about that new car smell intoxicating, isn’t it? I have heard
its siren song as well I am just as guilty as the next person. In buying a car
because I felt a certain way. Now I have to confess something I was in
love. I was head over heels in love with my 2013 Red Camaro. I loved the
acceleration, the power, how it hugged the curves, and how it looked. Then one
day, I made a business decision. I sold it and paid off 4 Credit accts. Now in
the twilight of my years, I have learned a truth. I have to keep working to accomplish
the goals that I established for my family. Now if I was working with the
people, I worked with before 2012 that would not be too bad (fun even) I,
however, work in an atmosphere that is at times toxic and at others just
wearisome. I, yet, like what I do for a living and I like my userbase for
the most part. In both cases, Higher Headquarters is the source of my
frustration. Their ability to ready fire aim and unerringly hit themselves in
the foot is uncanny.
So, when you hear the
“I feel.” Just think for a moment or even watching the evening news.
On the rare times that I listen to the story, I often ask this question. I
believe everyone should ask themselves this question after every Salesman Congressman,
Senator and President of every stripe and everyone in authority in one way or
Another speaks. That question is
I WONDER IF THAT IS TRUE!!!!
Thanks for
Helping me with this writing exercise; it means a lot to get constructive
feedback. In my quest to becoming a writer.
Saturday, May 18, 2019
Gambling as a profession
Gambling
I have just got off the phone with a professional
gambler. She, is one of my three of my daughters that have at one time, have are or
have been professional gamblers. I know this seems a little off, or a little
strange that three of my family members are or were at one-point gambling for money.
It, however, is 100% true that gambling was their profession. They routinely had to anticipate the needs of
the rest of the people at the table, have a professional, yet pleasant demeanor putting it all on the line for the feedback of the persons at the table. That feedback is in the form of the tip left
after the meal is completed. You see, my daughters were professional gamblers as
they make less than $2 bucks per hour with the hope of it becoming $300 or more at the end of their shifts. The
gamble is while summoning all the charm and professionalism she can muster that
it would be sufficient to receive a tip commensurate to the level of effort
made to make sure that evenings dining experience was enjoyable and memorable
Make
no mistake this is not for the fun of it as sometimes it can be fun, but it is
the way of doing business in a businesslike manner.
My
Daughters have always been hard workers all 3 daughters that are here have
worked waitressing. Seeing they gave birth to my legacy and are at present
nurturing them to become adults, all 10 of them have different personalities and
habits. Their well-being and happiness
is and was based on at some point, her prowess as a gambler. I tip regularly and generously. The amount is flexible based on the level of
service, and that is totally up to you. I recently attended my daughter’s
graduation from Tulane University with her master’s degree in social work. After graduation, we went to the restaurant
where she worked. Houston’s in New Orleans. It was a high-end restaurant. I
usually tip with cash when I am in a high scale restaurant, as I want to reward
the staff (the gamblers) for their effort and work. I do not wish to reward
the state or federal government for their work that’s between the wait
staff and them as I stay out of it. In
this case, I forgot to get cash for the tip the dinner was close to $250 which
meant with my method of calculating 20% was doubling the cost of the meal then
moving the decimal point to the left. Which was about 50 bucks. I went across the street at the
Walgreen’s and hit the teller machine and took out about 150 dollars. The manager was at the table and surprised me
when he told me, “Sir, your daughter is a delight to work for, and she has worked
very hard here and is respected by her co-workers. We are comping the meal.
After my mouth closed. I thanked the manager, and when the waiter came back, I shook his
hand and gave him $60. You see, the meal was comped, not the immaculate service. I had no problem giving
money when a job was well done. In this
case, it absolutely was. There is a
reputation that follows Christians that reputation is that they are cheap. I
will not state this as a fact. However, since the thought is ubiquitous in its widespread acceptance, I will accept the truth of it in some quarters of society. So between 11AM and 1PM on any
given Sunday there will be somewhere in the viewing of this article 6-15 people
at a given restaurant with the chairs rearranged to accommodate the group (and
their children) have a meal for everyone
then leave a tip that is in the least embarrassing to me to even
comprehend. If it was my daughter, and
while they were college, it was my daughter. I would want to slap the taste
out of the mouths of every adult. If they were clergy, they would get
the change to turn the other cheek as I would want to slap them twice.
I will however not leave a generous tip to anyone in
the wait staff that ignores my family and me while in the case I am
thinking of trying to get the attention
of a young man (he was handsome) while ignoring my requests for more water. It
also was telling that someone else had to serve the meal while they tried to
get her dance card filled. I don’t remember the amount of the meal, but I do
remember the tip was nowhere close to my usual 20%
I
Have family members (I use that term loosely) that have not come to the
revelation as of yet that rewarding excellent service is good policy. They are
moving at their own pace in their journey of the spiritual growth area, so I don’t
speak of it unless it’s with my wife in private.
Remember these people when you sit down for a meal. They are sons and daughters, fathers
and moms and are trying their best to make ends meet just like we are. You see
a little grace can go a long way. That
reminds me of a story of my younger years, I used to drink copious amounts of
alcohol when I was a young airman. I used to give a preemptive tip. I’d walk up
to the bar and get the attention of the bartender and say. I am here to do
business. I would love to do business with you. In that regard, I would like to
present you with this $10 bill as a sign of my good faith. I would like a Gin and
grapefruit. Needless to say, I needed a
taxi ride home more than once. It wasn’t for me at the fact was that my car got drunk, but, I still needed
to get back to the barracks. I no longer
drink, but the sentiment is absolutely the same. By rewarding excellent service, it
has a positive effect on the evening. For the servers and those being served.
Saturday, May 4, 2019
The Next Step
The next step
Well, I got started in the next phase of the I want to
live, as I’m not planning on dying any time soon program. Changed
the weekend alarm to 6 AM. Got up and went to the GYM. As some of you know, I
renewed my Gym membership sometime last week. Well, it was interesting comedic
but interesting. You all know the saying “The spirit is willing, but the flesh
is weak.” That’s kind of what happened. I went to elliptical machines and put my weight
and age in the computer and started working out. I set a goal of 20 mins the 1st
Time out. Then it happened. The Following is a public service
announcement DO NOT under any circumstances play Sirius XM 80’s workout while
doing cardio if you are recovering from all the Shiznet I experienced over the
last 3 years. I was not feeling bad. I was
kind of energized at 1st. However, the machine kept sending warnings
“YOU ARE EXCEEDING THE RECOMMENDED HEART RATE SLOW DOWN” How can I do that? The
Pointer Sisters were blowing Neutron dance I was just keeping up. Then Thomas
Dolby’s Blinding them with Science came on. Then Rod Stewarts Young hearts
started. Then next time I knew I’m watching flashing warnings stating in essence
“YOU OLD MF SLOW YO AZZ DOWN” the 20 mins was almost over so said just go on
and finish.
Then I knocked 3 triceps exercises the 1st
With dumbbells (not the one sitting on the bench) the 2 10 Pounders from the
rack. Basically, the one when one sits upright keeping the elbow next to one’s
head then extending the arm over the head. 2nd triceps pulldowns on
the cable machine and finally the one with the machine behind me and bending
over and extending the arms working the triceps. It was not too bad even though
I could feel it in the right places. The technique was much more important than weight.
Washed the Santa Fe bought coffee for Wanda and I and now here I am finishing
my blog entry for today.
I have made myself
accountable for what I have planned for tomorrow. Told a couple of friends that
I respect and the universe (The internet) That I will be getting up tomorrow
and heading to worship. It's amazing what happens when one accepts the
concept that a ‘Dead Man Walking” no longer applies to them.
Whoda thunk it?
Body Mind Spirit what a concept!
Saturday, April 27, 2019
Wrong again
I Was Really wrong this time Pt2
This one is going to
sting a bit. The good thing is that I did not run my mouth. I exercised the right
to remain silent which was an excellent thing. It took a day or so, but I finally
had my OH-DUH moment. But 1st
Something about my self-talk this is how it happens. On the outside its
completely silent, oh but on the inside, there is some severe AZZ chewing going
on with two individual components. 1. my 17-year-old self. Being totally about
what he wants and wanting it now. And the voice of reason My Father. Let us
relive a conversation that took place in the 1970’s late spring. I remember that it was not
summer as I was routinely out of town from June to August marching in my Drum
Corps. VK all the way!!! (inside knowledge
required I apologize) I made a request (that’s BS) a demand of my Dad. Who looked
at me like I had lost my mind (because I did) and said NO! Now if I withdrew my
request and apologized it would have ended there. Those of you that know me know full well that I could not let
it just lie there. I slid all my chips in (like I had cards to play) and doubled
down on stupid. Dad said, “son go into my
bedroom and get the strong box from under the bed, and give it to me.” I was
confused but complied. I got the box handed it to my dad who opened it and
pulled out this document it was the mortgage or the bank letter stating that
Eugene Oliver Crawford was the principal on the loan, and was responsible for
making the payments on the home we lived in.
He asked “do you see your name anywhere on this document” I delayed my
answer and got a resounding “ANSWER ME BOY!!!” I said (in this tiny voice)
No sir. He continued “I pay the note on
this MF, not a GD thing happens there without my permission. Now I don’t have to
give you anything but love a roof over your head and food in your narrow Azz
and clothes on your back. Don’t bring this I need BS in this conversation, but I
got your needs covered and seeing you are leaving town for 3 months to get on a
bus to go across the country playing that horn (pointing to the Baritone case
on the floor) I think some of your wants are covered too. You need to learn to approach
me with some respect and gratitude and you just might get a request, or two met.
I
learned a year later he took extra shifts to actually pay for me to live in the
Dorm in college. Ok, that what happened way back then. Well, my dad came back to
talk to me last week. Not in the flesh but in another episode of Manny’s self-talk. I had just sold my Camaro (moment of silence)
A car that I loved for funds to pay some bills, as I am preparing to see this
home and to buy another in the area. I’m comfortable in Las Cruces and intend
to stay here for a while I requested another car loan this time for 10K as
opposed to 32K so I can double up on payments to get it paid off quicker. My wife,
my pearl of great price said we need a pickup truck preferably a quad cab in
the 2004-2007 range for hauling stuff around. She said I'll need it to haul the
boys around town as well. OH, OH. Here
is where my EGO raised its ugly head. Please note what happens after this is my
internal discussion with my 17-year-old persona and the voice of reason and
wisdom which was my dad. The 17-year-old spoke and said. Woman who the F are
you to tell me what we are going to buy or not to buy. I did not finish this
thought before the voice of my dad showed up and said loudly and clearly. “What
In the F are you thinking? That is your wife. I thought you were trying to stay
married this time. You remember that whining and crying when that woman you
send back to the states came back to Okinawa married to the other guy you know
your friend that was hitting it while you were out of town. You remember asking
the Almighty for one more chance to be a dad that last time when you totally f''d
up the chance you had. I know it wasn’t totally on you, but you took the
cowards way out with the way you ended it like a sniveling BITCH!!”
“Look I know you are mad about selling the Camaro, but you said it was a business decision, and it was. So how is this her fault? No SON you are wrong, and this is why. What’s that in the driveway? A 2017 Hyundai Santa Fe that you bought for her, and she is giving it to you for a pickup truck that is not even close to being new. Finally, are you saying this used roller skate with a bed is your ultimate expression of your driving pleasure? You are selling the house. Your friend from California told you because you are an old fart you can keep the proceeds, and it is not capital gains and not put in in the new home. Ya think that you might take a piece of the proceeds and get something like a 2018 Lexus and pay cash for it? Son, you are a certified idiot” …
Now that day I’m sitting at my desk at lunch sipping my soup, and with tears rolling down my face I am ashamed of how idiotic I was for a moment. This conversation took place in total silence
to anyone looking at me because it was totally inside my head. I knew I had to come clean to the entire universe and admit my selfishness. Now today was a good day I got some stuff done. Transferred the pre-paid car washes to the Hyundai renewed my Gym membership and got a lovely haircut. What I did not do was take my bride my pearl of great price out looking for that new old truck. That wasn’t my fault duty called at work, and I was logged on to my server from the house for hours picking up the pieces from a power failure at work. Yes, I’m putting
in for the OT I need the dough. Papi has bills to pay…
I WAS WRONG PART 1
I WAS WRONG!!! Pt1
Boy, I have deemed myself an idiot this week. My self-talk
Totally sucked. I jumped to conclusions because my attitude was miserable. I read a
post. Not true I read the header of an article, and because I was mad (at something
going on at work) I shot off my mouth(fingers) and hit send. On the other end
was a friend that I respected but had an investment in the topic. There was an
emotional component that I did not consider; which wasn’t hard seeing I did not
recognize anyone but my own preconceived notions. I apologized when I discovered
what I had done but, now I feel terrible about it. What will I do to do better?
Well, 1st of all do better!!! I have to consider the possible ramifications
of me just running wild when I am in sarcasm mode. With the knowledge of I am
responsible for what I say think, or write.
I am not a troll I, however, am full of sarcasm but that has to be
tempered with the knowledge that there is a thinking, feeling human being
sitting in front of their computer screen. I tend to not care intensely what others
think I do however have to treat others with respect. Which this week in this
and another instance have failed miserably.
I’m sorry KR
Sunday, March 24, 2019
Sadness
Sadness
Sometimes there is not enough time. I am in mourning for a person that had a pivotal role in my ability to grow into an adult human being. She is not the only one but, she and her husband were lights in one of my darkest hours. The year was 1980-81 I had been just let go from a job. Soroc Technologies. We made dumb terminals which connected to mainframes. I started in assembly and advanced to hot-test and shipping then I was shipped out to my next adventure (I just didn’t see it that way. I, in fact, had a good friend that worked there that I would love to find again. John Gagnon. We used to go to the old Woody Allen movies and quote the lines all the time. Sorry for the shout-out. I was out on the bricks was staying with my roommates, and since I could not do the rent anymore, I was out of there. I had a friend (Hell still have a friend) Mark that asked his parents if I could move in temporarily until I could get on my feet. We were in a WWII reenactment group that I was exposed to because I was a friend to a curator of a military museum. Yes, there are pictures out there of me in a WWII uniform firing blanks at people in German uniforms. Hell, we did a half-time show. Where I got to shoot a .50 cal from a WWII vintage tank. There is a picture of me in a WWII jeep at a reenactment dance where I wore pinks and greens. I even took Jitterbug lessons so I could fit into the atmosphere.
Edith and Grant took me into their home and treated me like family including some sage advice these were some of the kindest people I have met. I will state for the record that this was my blessing from above I have had a series of families that were kind to this knucklehead from south central. That’s another really long story; needless to say, an interesting one. I had a decision to make. I walked into the Recruiting office in Orange California in the late summer of 1980 and went to the AF recruiter I joined the USAF delayed enlistment entering April 28, 1981.
My 1st mistake. I should have paid Grant and Edith in advance for the rent they charged for me to be there, as it was very reasonable. Which meant when my dumb butt realized it, I had to get a job. I worked doing temp office work (a strategic decision) as I found office work was good for my dating life. (another story that will remain untold)
It was at this time the value of my time with them was made evident. From them, I received some sage advice, and I can point to every time that advice was correct during my time serving in the U.S.A.F. I was told beware of the guy that wants someone to pay for a round but hesitated reach in their own pocket to buy one. Identified that one right away and lifted a glass to Grant. I just remember seeing a down to earth family going to church, being active in the community and people namely Marc and Carol that are now my brother and sister. Oh, I have plenty of brothers and sisters out there that I have acquired since I was a teenager in So Central LA that I am still in contact with to this day. Grant was called home to be with the Lord while I was overseas, I did and continue to miss him. Talk about someone that walked it like they talked it. That was him. I recently within the last 2 years regained contact with the rest of the family. This was due to the phenomenon of Social Media in particular and Facebook in general. I'm seeing kids, grandkids foreign adventures, and was glad to be in contact with them again.
We exchanged numbers and we call regularly. Edith asked me to come to see her. I unfortunately due to illness and finances was unable to go back to California to see her again. As you see on the 1st day of spring this year surrounded by family laughing and enjoying each other Edith quietly passed from this existence to the next. The feelings of grief, sadness and the shame of not being able to come back to California for a visit have deeply affected me. Now the aftermath and the legal implications of the final disposition of Edith’s final wishes have to be fulfilled. The only thing that I can add to this is that through the years I have seen strange things happen during this tragic time in a family. I started my journey that led to being a part of their family began earlier in 1980 when my mother passed away suddenly. To my California family, you have a cohesive unit full of love and compassion as it is in your DNA, as I had the honor of knowing your mom and dad. Every time we talked since then it was and is like going home, as you all sound the same. Remember you have each other to carry you through to the rest of your time here on earth. Kids, grandkids sons and daughters and in-laws are looking to you for leadership as you are approaching the top of the pyramid. You have a unique position of leadership that can not be dismissed or devalued. The adhesive that holds your family together is strong and can withstand the winds of difficulty and change, I know its strong because I know where it came from. Be good to each other because we are are not isolated islands in a stream. we need each other to make it through another day. I have had a recent drought in my writing as of late. Your family has inspired me to continue to do that as I use it to let what I have bottled up to be released into the atmosphere. To do so is to release something eternal into the universe. We as people need to keep the vision our eyes up and aware making sure our loved ones are protected from things from the outside that could do us harm. Mistakes happen, heck stuff happens every day.
We exchanged numbers and we call regularly. Edith asked me to come to see her. I unfortunately due to illness and finances was unable to go back to California to see her again. As you see on the 1st day of spring this year surrounded by family laughing and enjoying each other Edith quietly passed from this existence to the next. The feelings of grief, sadness and the shame of not being able to come back to California for a visit have deeply affected me. Now the aftermath and the legal implications of the final disposition of Edith’s final wishes have to be fulfilled. The only thing that I can add to this is that through the years I have seen strange things happen during this tragic time in a family. I started my journey that led to being a part of their family began earlier in 1980 when my mother passed away suddenly. To my California family, you have a cohesive unit full of love and compassion as it is in your DNA, as I had the honor of knowing your mom and dad. Every time we talked since then it was and is like going home, as you all sound the same. Remember you have each other to carry you through to the rest of your time here on earth. Kids, grandkids sons and daughters and in-laws are looking to you for leadership as you are approaching the top of the pyramid. You have a unique position of leadership that can not be dismissed or devalued. The adhesive that holds your family together is strong and can withstand the winds of difficulty and change, I know its strong because I know where it came from. Be good to each other because we are are not isolated islands in a stream. we need each other to make it through another day. I have had a recent drought in my writing as of late. Your family has inspired me to continue to do that as I use it to let what I have bottled up to be released into the atmosphere. To do so is to release something eternal into the universe. We as people need to keep the vision our eyes up and aware making sure our loved ones are protected from things from the outside that could do us harm. Mistakes happen, heck stuff happens every day.
Be Excellent to each other.
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