People in glass houses Pt 1

                                                       People in glass houses
                                                   Pt 1
`There once was a king in an ancient far away land Populuia, for the land was vast and the people numerous. King Ator (the cunning) had the most opulent of palaces.  One day the King’s prophets came to him with a prophecy of conquest and glory.  They told the king, “If you conquer the 10 neighboring kingdoms, you will unify the land and have the people worship you as their sovereign lord.  To keep the peace, you should marry the most beautiful daughters of the lords of those kingdoms to ensure the unity of the subsequent birthright of the subjects of all the 10 lands. The idea of 10 wives pleased the King, and the King raised an army to make the prophecy come to pass.
 When he surveyed the kingdoms, he noted that though they had commerce with each other as the lands had different strengths that were worthy of coveting. All of those lands were sovereign kingdoms to themselves and did not trust their neighbors.  The country that was chosen 1st was an Aquaria, a nation with fruitful fields, and a small defensive army. The King sent spies to the land first to find the needs of the farmers of the land, to find a weakness to exploit, and finally, an avenue for conquest. It seemed that the nation needed cultivating equipment of iron.  The area had no mineral deposits nor forges to make plows. They used only wooden implements to till the soil and plant the crops for harvest. The King of Populuia had iron ore in abundance. With men cunning in the ways of iron and steel.  The Populian swords were folded from an ingot of steel thousands of times. Then quenched in the mineral-rich waters that were found in Populia and were sharp enough to sever the head from a beast in one swing.  It is said that those found guilty of the most heinous crimes were relieved when they knew a Populian sword would be used by the executioner as the condemned would feel no pain as the blade passed from side to side without slowing for bone of sinew. The Populian King offered a trade pact with the King of Agraria, with his farming implements in exchange for 5% of the crop that was harvested from Agraria. However, there were not to be iron crafting forges in Agraria. The riddle of steel was to remain forever in Populuia.   The Agrarians were at 1st hesitant for a deal, so the King loaned the farming implements for one year for the Agrarians to taste the benefits of a full alliance with Populuia.
    The year passed, and the crop increased 100-fold. The alliance with the Agrarians was complete. Populian men and families moved to Agraria and built places of worship and commerce and became an integral part of the Agrarian culture. That, however, was an elaborate ruse to weaken agrarian culture, which worshipped the land whose gods were from the pillars of the earth. As opposed to the gods of the sky that were worshipped in Populuia.  The Populians gave their worship to the of the birds of the air. With the emphasis on the birds of prey. With their ability to soar and attack without warning soundlessly from above. At the start of this plan of conquest, the King installed his 18-year-old son as the Prince of the realm. He was trained in the arts of combat from an early age and was sent to the mysterious island realms to learn the mystic skills of bladed and exotic hand to hand combat. The son returned as a captain of the army and trainer of recruits in the combat arts. The Prince also brought back trainers in the combat arts that he learned in the island realm. By the time Prince Ator the 2nd was twenty years old, he had a standing army of 180 thousand. With 10,000 archers, 8000 horses and 12000 heavy mounted infantry, and 12000 operators of siege engines and primitive artillery, the rest were foot soldiers and support elements.
           The plan was instigated to bring the lands into conflict. King Ator (the cunning)  met with a delegation from Populuia on the prospect of future trade deals. However, the delegation consisted of a few of his imbedded people that insulted the Populian deities, and fighting ensued.  The King was outraged at this betrayal. Then immediately sent the Prince and his army to the border to ask that the offenders be turned over for punishment. Several Populian delegates were killed in the fighting. The embedded Populian agents left evidence that pointed to the royal family. King Ator met privately with the King of Agraria with an offer. Abdicate the throne, allow one of your daughters to marry the Prince, and become a province of Populuia. You will remain as sovereign of your land subject only to My Royal household retain the management of your lands, and an Invasion of your territory will be unnecessary. However, we will raise divisions of an army that will wear the colors of Populuia and will be stationed throughout your land to keep the peace. What the King did not say was that troops from Agraria would become part of the expeditionary force. And would be not be returning to their home country for as long as the conquest was ongoing. All the troops that were to be stationed in Agraria would be from Populuia or were immigrants to Agraria from Populuia.  In one fell swoop, Populuia conquered Agraria with little loss of life.
           King Ator celebrated his victory with a gala party.  In this newly constructed crystal palace, the living and administrative areas were made of crystal. This crystal was darkened by mixing natural elements to change the color of the glass to clear to any shade required, even black. The rest of the palace was crystal clear. The ballroom was had a blue hue that matched the regal robes that the Prince and the King wore. The King’s bride wore a lighter shade of blue to denote her royal standing. The party was amazing. There were minstrels from the adjacent lands. And administrators from the same nations that were amazed at the diplomatic acumen of King Ator taking possession of Agraria without bloodshed and with its infrastructure still intact.
There was a hint of a problem tiny, almost invisible cracks were in the throne chamber, the chamber for the thrones from the conquered kingdom. It had just arrived and was gently placed in the room just above the ballroom so the revelers can see the thrones of the defeated kings. The cracked crystal pane was reinforced then replaced with stronger panes of crystal the next day.
There was a meeting in the administrative area with King Ator, his son Ator II and their most trusted generals about the next throne to take. The Prince said, “The King of future nations won’t fall for the same trick. This time we will have to fight.  I know this said the King. We must double the army and raise their pay. Give the pay raises to the Agrarians 1st as a reward for faithful service. This will ensure their loyalty in the upcoming campaign.
                                                                 End of part 1

My Friend

 “Was a naturally Heroic SOB.”

I mourn For my friend, knowing him was a highlight of my life. I have a few good friends. He was the "I can call at 3 AM and know he would be there kind of friend". That is a more select group.  Those friends that are in this Group are far fewer in number. This is as it should be. One's trusted confidants should be a select group of the most successful and loyal counselors. I came to him with some of my most important decisions. One of these decisions was on what should I do now that I have met after meeting the woman that eventually became my wife.  The advice I received from the pair Derek and his bride led directly to me being the patriarch of my new family and all the grandchildren that have followed.

 I did not know Derek the way I did upon his return from his initial victory from a disease that took him out of the workplace, for I think a year.  Before that, he was one of those scientific types that worked on the main floor at Test Group.  I got to know him as a member of the "irreverent three." And our carpool to and from Test Group until I departed for El Paso for another job. What I learned from Derek is to be a genuine person. I looked at his family, and I found a cohesive family and dedicated to one another. His relationship with his wife was one to be emulated. When I say cohesive, I mean they were a single unit consisting of 4 members (and the pets of course) I saw them choose each other when outside pressures were applied to their relationship, as is in the case of every successful family relationship.  In a way, it was good that I got to know him later, as he introduced me to the beauty that is Patron tequila in all its various flavors.

 I never felt unwelcome when I was with them, as their place was a place of refuge, an oasis of good times, and fun. He was the glue to the tailgate scene at NMSU before his departure, and it wasn't the same after his relocation to his new home. It was like losing the center of the rotating space station with the distinct habitats all drifting in their own directions after his families' departure.  For a good part of the time, I was an emotional mess, so his presence was a calming one and an example of what normal looked and felt like. On the day I married, my wife Wanda Derek and Terri were there as part of the celebration.

It should be noted that we had to delay the start of the festivities as there was an NFL Playoff game playing in the background. That being said, He was a tangible example of what was possible and achievable in a relationship.  We had a staff meeting of the irreverent 3 regularly, In fact, two families of the irreverent 3 -1 still meet quarterly, and we sent a pic to Derek for his inclusion to the Group.

What I know this for certain.  He was not content with the status quo. He never gave up, no matter the circumstances. He always looked for a solution, no matter the problem or the issue. I will remember that always. There was one other quality that I noticed with him. He was a scientific type that was at home with Mathematics as he was just hanging out with his friends.  A Brilliant man that had the very uncommon trait of common sense.  In truth, the scientific community at Test Group had a significant number of people, both officer, and civilian, with that quality. Since I saw him almost every day, he stood out from the crowd of other excellent people that I had the privilege of associating with during my time at the Group.

       It regularly seemed my trash cans moved by themselves directly behind my vehicle as I departed for work in the morning to date that phenomena have yet to be explained, I believe it was the work of Gremlins.  When questioned, no one in my carpool seemed to know that could have moved those cans directly behind my car. I guess that will remain an unexplained mystery.

I have never cried as much as I have this last weekend. The news stopped me in the middle of what I was doing. I have been in pretty much in a funk to this date.  Since when have I started crying at a red light when Free Bird came over my radio?  It was Sunday. This event has caused me to reexamine my life once again. To discover what it is to be a friend and to lead a family.  What it is like to be a professional while keeping the essential things in their correct places in one's life.

The passing of this man has divinely touched me. I have known loss; in fact, I lost a good friend while I was at Test Group, and it shook me tremendously.  It is factually incorrect to say this was a loss for it was not (not even close). As we are finite beings with a definite time to be here. From my perspective, he was fully involved in the game all the way until the final buzzer sounded. 

            For His family, I will state. If I am in the area and you need assistance. I will do what I can to help. All one has to do it call, and I will be there. The things that I have learned from him I will take with me to my next locale and will instruct the ones that I love to know if the lessons of being humble and never giving up that I have learned from Derek and Terri.

I’m Trying to Be Nice

I made a mistake yesterday, but I believe in a way it was a good one. It allows me to express my feelings to make it completely and entirely and crystal clear and to put everyone on notice that from this point forward I will speak my mind and not be swayed by any of the circus animals. I tend to be obtuse. I see threads of thought where others see black and white. I am a student of history. I tend to remember things from the past that reoccur today. Example: a Candidate for president espoused rescinding the medals from the military men that participated in the Wounded Knee operation. Knowing about that operation (which consisted of mostly unarmed women and children), I can see the candidates' points. However, that took place in 1873 in case one does not have their calculator handy that 146 years ago.  What’s the F’n Point. Now my brain gets activated WHY would some supposed intelligent person propose that. In a word POLITICS, which my operational definition is a lion and a tiger arguing over who bites harder and will hurt you less. When each of them will kill you, eat you, and leave you graveyard dead if left unchecked. 

The check is the literal Constitution of the United States. I have no idea as to why would a group of men would willingly limit their power.  Oh, don’t get me wrong they F’d up as well as Dred Scott, and the Fugitive slave act was done on their watch as well.  Let’s pick a couple.   NO, not the second, even though I am a fan of that one. Let’s try the 1^st and the 4^th Speech and illegal search and seizure.  For the 1^st pick any college campus that is in the University of California system.  How saying this simple phrase will possibly get one the possibility of getting their azz whupped that phrase I'm thinking of is one I heard in church a while ago and never forgot " I BELIEVE IN ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM AND STEVE" I don't give a rats ass what Adam and Steve do. If I own an apartment complex as long as A&S pays the rent and respect the other people in the complex I don't care. That doesn't mean I approve,  reserve my approval for what I accept. That young couple in the same apartment complex that is living together doing whatever with her in the family condition and unmarried. .It's their right I don't have to like it, as its Adam & Steve's right.  Now for the 4^th Illegal search and seizure where. Do I begin ok let's talk about the florist that is traveling to South America for some rare tropical flowers carrying cash, let's say over 9,999 dollars in cash — having that money seized and called drug money without due process of law?  Consider the cleaning business that makes cash deposits of the same amounts to the bank because hanging on to that much cash is dangerous (every day). Theirs are sized as well also without due process.  

I’m trying to be nice. I have friends that have been friends for over 40 years.  I have one I’ve known for 45 years that I go to when I don’t know what I’m doing and need advice.  (yea you Kansas boy) The other friends have opinions that I respect don’t agree all the time, but respect. I played Trombone when I was 13 years old when I found out my grandson picked the Trombone. I was a Proud PAPI and sent my grandson a pic of me with my Trombone from 1969. I reached out to another might I say "excellent" trombone musician that who's family were instrumental in me making the transition from South Central Los Angeles to retiring from the USAF, now about to retire from civil service. That's like 39 years working for the government (Dayum, just Dayum). The Excellent trombone musician and I don't agree on everything, and we don't have to. I loved his parents, and I love him and his family, that's enough.

Now for me the trying to be nice.  Yesterday I sent something out that I would never have if I would have read it thoroughly. Not the quote, but the opinion of the person that sent it. (MY BAD) I was accosted by three friends that had a differing idea of the sentiments of the person that sent it. With the intent of either convincing me of the error of my ways at best or berating me at worst, I have love and respect for all three persons.  Remember the part where I spoke of Politics earlier with the Lion and Tiger.  I don't dance. It was suggested that I start caring for the sake of my grandkids. Other than that, personal foul, it did hurt coming from a former colleague, I was in no way going to do that. Because a few years ago, I adopted an ancient philosophy that philosophy was Stoicism, having read the meditations of Marcus Aurelius, which was a journal to himself that has been passed down through the ages. It spoke to me and changed my life. Things outside of my control have no power over the essence of me, and I do not participate in activities that cause me to invest negative emotions into stuff like Politics.  My time will be spent teaching my kids and grandkids (the ones that will listen) the values of giving and receiving respect, the avoidance of debt, and how to emotionally and physically defend one’s self. On that last part defending one's self, I have associated with several military men in the combat arms world.

In my experience, the kindest and nicest men have been folks at the sharp end of the spear. It was a couple of force recon marines and a retired seal from the Viet Nam era. Seriously a brown water navy sailor I met both of them coaching little league football as I coached their sons. The latter I had no idea until I met him in the Wal mart in Alamogordo where he told me he was a Seal in Vietnam as a student of history I knew about his unit's actions and was moved to tears, shook his hand and said it is beautiful to know you and your son. Excuse my digression now back to the issue of teaching my grandkids. These men are kind because they know what unkindness is like they are confident because they know what fear because of their experience. They are grateful because they survived it all.  I want to assist in instilling those virtues to my children and grandchildren so they can be productive, not parasites.  I do this for selfish reasons I know the pain of that call from a kid that is hurting and wishing for that pain to fall on me because I know I can take it. 

For the people who identify as lions or tigers, I state. If your meaning is to scold me for my opinion after my apology, as I was wrong to use that offering in the form in which it was presented, I will assume it is not accepted. Those individuals will have the opportunity to influence me any longer.  If it was to convince me to pick the lion and tiger camp, feel free to present a compelling argument for stated belief, and I will consider it. Consider it; I will change my mind probably not.  I was supposed to write something else.  A continuation of a story about a sociopath that uses the political climate to kill (always in self-defense). An article about a discussion at a recent funeral where another good friend stated an opinion that they believed so strongly that they refused even to hear my reason for my decision.  It would have been cool if it wasn't a member of my old church family and former mentor. And finally, an analysis of my recent Hard Drive upgrade to the M.2 format and the speed increase that I have been enjoying. I do give a measure of thanks to my three friends. That gave me the impetus to get my fingers on slamming the keyboard once again.

THAT Shiznet dont look right

That Shiznet doesn’t look right.

Its all in the optics

I find myself with an hour on my hands, so I was going to wait, but since I have the time here goes.

Let’s start with a couple of scriptures just for background.

The 1^st Romans 14:46 Do not let your good be spoken as evil.

The 2^nd 1^st Thessalonians 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil

The way Optics is meant in this offering is as follows.

(typically, in a political context) how an event or course of action is perceived by the public.

"The issue itself is secondary to the optics of the Democrats opposing this administration in a high-profile way."

Ok that being said, let's start. The Vice President of the United States has a stated policy of never being alone with a member of the opposite sex in an official or unofficial meeting without the presence of his wife.  It would seem in the Post Weinstein era that would be reasonable. (especially for a politician) It, however, in this world of Me2 seen as not inclusive.  Every good boxer knows the instructions “defend yourself at all times” and in these times not only do you not have to be there to be accused with the supposed accuser having no recollection of an incident one can find themselves in a world of hurt not knowing the cause. Motive yes cause smaybe.  If the accuser doesn’t know then (who do?)

I was a former NCO had the displeasure of counseling a female airman for misconduct. There was no way in the world I was going to do that alone. I would enlist the support of the highest-ranked female NCO in the unit to sit in on the counseling session.  The NCO sat out of the direct line of sight of the person being counseled, and when the meeting was complete, I asked. Is that about it, Sarge? To which the Sergeant would answer, that’s just fine.  The look on the counseled person was priceless. You see the person in question would play that victim card, and I was not going to be the subject of that mess.

Some of us have an innate desire to help people. When it’s a person of the opposite sex, it gets complicated.  It could not look quite right. There can be a legitimate need out there that one is uniquely able to meet. Just know in those exceptional cases where a person’s gender is involved it can just look funky. Of all my friends at work, less than 5 get hugs the rest get fist bumps. (until such time as that becomes taboo too) The qualification is that I have worked closely with them for over 2 years, they know my wife, and we have mutual respect for each other finally they are not single.  My job requires me to see a lot of people in and out of my office. Some ground rules (even though unspoken) are necessary.  Be ready for the outside comments by friends, family, and even enemies on how it looks on the outside looking in. My measuring stick is. If you saw this on TV, would one reasonably think that the person has lost their mind? Do we have a jerry springer incident about to occur? If the answer is no, then press on if the answer is yes, be on the lookout because you may not know who is looking and more importantly thinking.  

The Hat..

The Hat

And the man under it.

     The man missed combat, it made him feel alive. A roadside bomb ended his career as a Tier 1 operator when he was in his prime. This 26-year-old went through rehab, took his disability pension, went to school, and became a successful accountant. But the urge for action burned within him. He took Krav Maga, Aikido, and Brazilian Jujitsu which somewhat satisfied his need for combat. He even fought in a couple of amateur tournaments.  He was good, but it wasn’t enough for him. He wanted more. While sitting in his living room watching the report of an individual getting beaten for wearing a hat, he thought they would not do that to someone that could defend themselves. Hell, I can protect myself. I have a right to wear any hat at any time but, I have to be smart about it. I have to be totally blameless.  And that’s how it all began.

     It had to be clearly self-defense. It cannot be initiated by the man as he thought when his training took a turn toward viciousness when he explored the less conventional techniques of his martial arts training. Methods were not acceptable for tournaments. The deadlier, the better.  This man was not a Psychopath, not ruled by emotion. However, he had an itch that needed scratching. The man then went to bladed combat, namely Indonesian Silat,. It's very similar to the combatives training taught to him in the military but, with a really more significant edge to them. The man took to these techniques like a duck to water, and two years later he believed he was ready to apply his new skills.  Now the focus was on how not go to jail. How to get away with murder. Well, it's not murder if one is being attacked, the defense must be scalable to the threat and stop when the assailant stops, as anything extra is a sure way to the jailhouse. He did notice that those that initiated this behavior is expecting someone that does not want combat. Not someone that secretly craved for it. Not a person that internally desired, no longed to see the look in their eyes when doom was imminent. Now if the assailant would just to go about their business., nothing would happen. This will lead to a lot of misses, but the hits will be spectacular and challenging to prove malice.  He has to be the one under control the one that is the person avoiding conflict until that 5 seconds that will be the payoff. 
      Now he needed legal protection he bought insurance that would provide for free legal defense if he is arrested defending himself. He then took a vacation to the location of a rally where the unhinged will come out and make themselves available. He saw this hat someone was holding the person approached him and stated, “hey man want one” want what the man replied this hat. He had seen that hat before it was red with the statement “Make America Great Again,” The man said sure thanks what would you want for it. The person said just for you to wear it. The man said thanks, and he thought “this will be perfect” So the two of them went toward a massive group of people shouting at each other.  The man did not participate in this activity but made himself available for ridicule. Nothing really happened to that point, it was after the event while eating a burger when he was approached by 3 Individuals that did not look happy. He saw them long before they saw him and “that hat.” They approached him, cursing him, and he stood to face them. “Hey man, I just want to eat my burger in peace” I’ll go my way, and you can go yours, what do you say?”   We say take off that hat it's racist.  The man said people are racist not objects you guys are making me a little nervous could you step back a bit.  Now the man knew that there was a camera behind him, he also knew that it was working as he asked before ordering a meal. So when the 1^st person reached for his hat, he took a step back and said: “we don’t have to do this, someone will get hurt.” They said since it was 3 of them, we know.  Without Another word, the man’s hand shot put putting his thumb in the eye of attacker 1  leaving him stunned then stepped to the 2nd attacker and performed s perfect a knee strike to the attacker's solar plexus putting him out of the fight.  Turning to the 3^rd attacker who had just drawn a knife. The man put the attacker's hand in a joint lock bending the arm back toward his attacker and slowly plunged the knife into his assailant. Then with his hands securely around the hands of the attacker’s knife jerked up the blade 3 times mortally wounding the assailant who writhed with a fatal knife wound to his liver? The man turned to the 1^st assailant still rubbing his eyes. And said call 911 and get an ambulance for your guy and ill try to stop the bleeding “SOMEONE CALL 911" and get a towel. While applying pressure to the wound, he whispered in the man’s ear.  "Thanks, buddy I was looking for someone just like you to KILL."  The man legitimately tried to save him even though he knew there was nothing he could do to save him. He knew exactly where to put the knife to do the most damage.  That itch was scratched as the man slipped into unconsciousness as the ambulance arrived. The man felt a tremor of satisfaction that he suppressed, but would fully enjoy later. 

The Police arrived and questioned the man. The man stated he was unarmed and that the person  who was stabbed and on the way to the hospital brought the knife with him as It wasn’t his. He also said to the police I tried to avoid the conflict (which was true) The man was taken into custody and taken to the station. The man knew this was going to happen. He was questioned, and when the tape was reviewed was then released as it was evident that the man was acting in self-defense and was not held. He was not arrested, just questioned and released. The man gave his data to the officers and went to his home. That data was for a local address that was established before this incident started (Proper Planning Prevents Pitiful Performance).  Upon arrival home, the man logged on to his computer and checked the social media presence for the event.  The fight was there with someone’s cell phone video.  Good, it turned out better than he expected.  The man had an online persona that was separate from his real name and occupation. A second false electronic presence that was totally different from who and what he was. The man went to work the next Monday after his vacation refreshed. When he was asked, why are you so chipper. He said, “I went out of town on vacation to get an itch scratched and man it sure was. The man thought about how I can get another adrenal hit like that one 

My FIVE!!!

My Five

I was Taught that one’s life is the sum total of ones five closest friends. These are my five as of this date in 2019

  

They are (initial’s only) MB, DR, HP, RM, and CH. And a couple of honorable mentions. I know their families, and there are only excellent and impressive folks that anyone can look up to. I will show the aspects of these my friends “M.B. the Balanced one” D.R. the Strong one” R.M. the Steadfast one. H.P. the Man of Faith C.H. The professional. I also have a couple of honorable mentions R, C, and S, D.

 M, B, The Balanced Family man. MB is in my five because he has taken the road that was bumpy and has come out on the other side.  He has taught at the college level and has a successful business. His experience, whether it is how things have changed in the US military, or just shooting the breeze to teaching me the correct technique for trigger pull to keep the holes on the paper and not in the dirt next to it. He has been a fountain of excellent advice over the years I have known him. I 1st met him in 2002, and we have been friends since the initial meet.  However, the thing that stands out the most is how he relates to his grandchildren.  We have something that we all share, we are patriarchs of blended families; we have been married before. I, however, took it to an extreme with my four previous attempts that had ended for one reason or another that left me in a miserable state in 2006 when I prayed (in tears) for another chance. That prayer was answered with the family that calls me PAPI today.  He is an example to me of what I can be as a grandfather, and as a person.

D.R “The man that will never quit” He, M, B and I are the trio that refers to themselves as the “Irreverent Three” for the carpool we participated in during my time at Holloman AFB during my employment in my 2nd career as a computer tech. Where do I start with him?  Diagnosed with a severe illness before we really met his drive and fire allowed him to drive through his treatment returning to work months later, upon his return, he was just as productive as ever. His example that stands out is the love he has for his family and his family for him. Before he moved to his next employment location, we would have quarterly staff meetings for the Irreverent Three at a local restaurant.  This was an event where the spouses would attend, and we would laugh and reflect on the previous 4 months and have a ball with the stuff that had happened seeing it was amusing 4 months later.

Additionally, his trailer was the meetup the place before NMSU football games where libations and tailgate cuisine was consumed with gusto.  The strength of the bond between him and his wife TR is one of the strongest I have witnessed. They stick with each other like glue and always have each other’s backs. They live daily the admonition. “What God has joined together let no man put asunder” I’ve seen it in action, and it’s a beautiful thing to behold. Recently he has fallen ill with a similar malady as the 1st time, and through it all, he and his espoused are as steadfast as ever.

 R, M the Straight shooter. I have known RM for over 45 years. We literally spent summers elbow to elbow marching and making music until he departed for the ARMY in 1976. The exciting thing is that we had not seen each other in the intervening years until 2001 shortly before I retired from the USAF.  He knows 2 of my former spouses. That’s how far we go back.  We have some fascinating history, in 2005 I baptized him in the Gulf of Mexico after expressing his wish to be. When he visited me on his way to see his family, as I was strategically placed on his route home, he would stay and attend church with us. I have known his bride for just as long as I have known him. As we would be together every summer from 1974 until we aged out or moved on to the next adventure, marching and playing music. (that’s another story.) During that trip to beautiful Ft Walton Beach, FL.  We discussed the trials that he and his bride were going through as a result of a severe illness. After being told her news with a date stating when it would all end, I am proud to announce that she is still here keeping him and indirectly me in line especially when I found myself in an unsupervised state (divorced.)  My Wife WC and her hit it off, and they got along like sisters after only one meeting.  The only disappointment was that he departed from that lovely area (the Redneck Rivera) to Ft Leavenworth KS. Before you ask, he just works there, and I visited them there as well.  He owns property in the Sarasota area (Sunny Florida), and I have been informed that I am welcome to come to see him at any time. That is so happening. Recently we had a form of the last supper together. We last met during a TDY (Temporary Duty) in El Paso.   It was the last supper as it was about a week before my Gastric Bypass Surgery. Bout the straight shooter bit. I recently sold my Camaro and cleared several bills to become debt-free as I am planning to retire in the next few years. He wrote, and I quote.  “I see you have grown up and stopped driving your D##K around” I immediately called him and asked him. “Do you know why I love you brother, because you only have one pitch, not the curve, nor the slider, nor the off-speed. No, you throw straight HEAT, and it’s just how I hate it high and tight. I can rely on him always telling the truth (albeit) from his perspective.

H, P the Man of faith.  HP and I were at one point, attended the same church. I was on the ministry team which ended through my error of judgment, based on my anger (that’s for my memoirs) There was a point in time where there were difficult times for my brother. when he called, I opened the church so we could pray together for a resolution to the issue (which has been resolved) in a fantastic way.  During this period, he left for an assignment at another base, as he was on active duty a little longer than I. I traveled to his location more than once to encourage him.  I took a road trip to see him (with the new Camaro) for a trip to Dallas. We had some great food, great conversation, and perfect times.  I’ve gone to see him several times over the last few years, and it never gets old.  Whenever trouble appears, and we have our phone call, I would only ask one question when the subject comes up.  What did your mother say? You know we are of one mind on this, and you know what she would say.  Bout that resolution of his previous situation. The best analogy is to refer to the latter end of a JOB when he got all his stuff back with interest. My friend is a software developer, Ph.D. Candidate and an Instructor at an online university.   No matter the time we are apart, his counsel is valued. When I am in trouble spiritually, I call him.

 C, H. the Tenacious one. This man I have known since on or about 2002. His family are great people (as are all the rest of my 5) it was my pleasure to work with him during my time working at Holloman AFB NM. Now there is another person that gets mentioned with this association is R who works hand in hand with C, Hand is just as dedicated this is for him ROLL TIDE! Unbeknownst to me, I met his espoused at the end of my time on active duty during my last duty assignment. R's wife was the command administrative professional. The same thing goes for his family as well. I saw their kids grow up to be superb human beings.  What I remember about C, H her was there for me when I was about to make a big mistake. Not only did he step in to defuse this situation, but he also advised me of the error I was about to make saving my azz in the process.

When I lost a close friend at the beginning phases of a relationship, he was

there for me through my emotional mess, losing someone suddenly like that. As if that was not enough. He was the 1st person I introduced my current espoused to when I took her on one of our 1st dates. It wasn’t planned that way; However, when I entered the restaurant “Mimi’s café, our two became 4 at the table immediately. They were pleased with the prospect of me (the crazy divorced guy running wild) settling down with someone that I could take home to mother. Since mom and dad were watching from above, they were the next best thing. I will state that there were a lot of introductions during this period, but this is about the “5” I will write on the person that saved my bacon to keep me from living in my car in another tale of transition.  He (the devil) got me interested in putting holes in paper on the range and was generous to a fault.  He has had health challenges as of late, and when one of them put him in a hospital in Las Cruces, I left work in El Paso to let him know I had his back. Whenever I get a free evening, I try to go to Alamogordo and set up dinner with his family and talk a lot of stuff in the friendly way we do.

Honorable Mentions.

R, C, the Sage mentor.  I worked with R, C during my time at Bare Base at Holloman AFB from 1996 to the end of my time in the military. The truth is that I wanted to be like him when I grew up. Heck, I still do. He knew his job backward and forward, was a world traveler spending time in several locations (some hotspots) as a civilian worker.  Tropics, deserts, you name it he went there. Additionally, he has remained in excellent shape and staying tremendously healthy and fit even to this day. He has encouraged me to continue writing and gives me the inspiration to continue my growth as a person and a writer.  Every time we communicate, I learn something new.  I just recently (within the last 3 Years) found that we are really close to the same age.   To quote Anthony Hopkins in The Edge, “If one can do so can another”

S, D Give me liberty or give me death.  S, D was one of my 1st Sergeants that I remain friends with to this day. Totally down to earth there is no sugarcoating, there are no apologies, and there is no room for anyone that doubts his dedication to the republic for which it stands. When he takes a stand on principle it without reservation or apology, It’s been too long since we have sat down for lunch. His tenacity for the truth is what I respect in him.  I will tell a joke that he said at my retirement luncheon.  “When Sergeant Crawford joined the military there were only two Major commands…. Mount and dismount.  Much respect S, D

              J.C  "Sensi" and I met in 1996 during the drawdown in my career.  I had significant anxiety about my coming career change, as though I loved my career field, I longed for a change becoming an IT professional. He was already there. We met as coaches of little league football teams. He was an IT contractor for the Base Hospital.  I asked him what do I need to do to be a computer professional. He actually laid out a plan for getting this done before my retirement in 2001. I actually followed those plans, and I had the pleasure of seeing him on the interview board when I interviewed for the position I currently hold.  He, in fact, works down the hall from me to this day.

His Strengths are his tenacity and resolve. When he tackles a problem, he stays with it until its either found impossible or corrects it.  Another one of his strengths is his compassion and dedication, which he possesses in greater quantities than anyone I have ever known.   He is devoted to his family no matter what. And through the trials “that were intense,” he came through each of them. With his integrity intact. I have a point where I will go dark on someone with problems that they refuse to deal with or correct, but he never does. He remains steadfast throughout.  He is gracious to those not deserving of grace. Lets things develop to the point where it is evident that its time to move on, but stays a little longer. He is a man of GOD. Constantly reading the word and refreshing his soul from it. For those reasons, he should be on my list, and I could not leave him and the other Honorable mentions not noted. That would be unfair and inaccurate to not include them as my story is incomplete without them.

The Two Most Dangerous words in the world

I Feel

The two most dangerous words in the world

 The statement "feel" is usually followed in many cases by something totally unprovable.

  Let me add the dictionary definition of  Unprovable = “unable to be demonstrated by evidence or argument as true or existing."

The weirdest thing I’ve heard was a demonstrator in some political rally saying, “You don’t understand feelings are facts.” That’s a significant reason that I don’t watch the news; I do not suffer fools well.  I try to get along with everyone, I will mostly not say much, however, when someone feels so strongly as to get their emotions involved and resorting to a possible escalation to violence. That’s where I draw the line.  This is a fact. Binary numbers are represented as ones and zeroes. I don’t feel that way there is an entire school of mathematics that is dedicated to exploring that fact. In case one is wondering its Boolean Mathematics. The weirdest thing someone told me in person is that they feel there are multiple genders. Now I personally have no problem with anyone living however they desire. The truth, as explained by the comedian DL Hugley who said." I don’t care how a person lives if it’s a genetic male sooner or later a doctor will be inserting a finger up their butt for a prostate exam." They can come dressed to the nines it doesn’t matter there is only XX, XY and that is fact, not a feeling.  That being said I do not aspire to the thoughts expressed in Canada that people should be executed for living in the way they choose and not as stated in this holy book, or should be arrested as promoted by some preacher to his flock somewhere In the United States. How someone chooses to live their lives is between them and the Almighty. The ironic thing that one group, in particular, ignores one of these groups and condemns the other but that’s another story.  I’m cool with anyone with the following caveat “Do not try to harm or hurt me or mine as I get a little protective of my life and the lives of my family.

I don’t think I told you, but after 5 years of struggling with myself and who I am, I feel (yes, I said it) that I can consider myself a practicing stoic.  I won’t get off on a tangent and describe what that is, but the gist of it is I am in control of what I say think and do. My heroes in that philosophy are Socrates, Marcus Aurelius’ and Epictetus.   Meditations by Marcus Aurelius is excellent reading.   I have to deal with what IS not what one wishes it to be. I have an example it was The feeling in scientific circles that the earth was the center of the universe, and anyone that did not ascribe to that teaching was a heretic, and subject of punishment in this world and the next. Nicolaus Copernicus did not attribute to that thesis and proposed that the sun is the center of the universe, and spent his life as a mathematician. He has since then been proven correct.

There are whole industries that want to make the public feel a certain way.  Politics, Religion and Park Avenue are vying for the hearts and minds of the populous. I believe that to promote an agenda grabbing the heart has been successful from stealing ancient lands exterminating entire populations and selling a bar of soap.  You know “wonder bread builds strong bodies in (how many ways again) The most dangerous thing other than throwing people off tall buildings because of who they fell in love with.  Is that in that arena where the “truth” gets obscured by the smoke of emotion? But the Lie moves forward carrying away the trusting unknowing that would say, “why would they lie to me.”  Joseph Goebbels once said. If you repeat a lie long enough, it will be accepted as the truth.

Remember the yellow cake uranium that wasn’t there in Iraq    http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/07/07/iraq.uranium/   Snopes states that are wasn’t or isn’t true. We find ourselves in corundum these two sources are opposed to each other. I guess one can go to Canada and look for one’s self, but both of these sources cannot, by definition, be true.  One of these is spun by a former administration and the other Turned by a fact check site.  As for me it’s easy I don’t believe anyone, and since I can’t control or manipulate it, I don’t care.  What I care about is treating people based on the content of their character and let people live their lives the way they want while allowing me to do the same.

Anyone remember how hard it was to get a credit card way back then. These days they are handing them out like candy just go to any university orientation and get a card and a free T-shirt. Ah, the truth is that anyone that has not learned how money works will get stuff in large quantities because how it makes them (here it comes again) feel. How about that new car smell intoxicating, isn’t it? I have heard its siren song as well I am just as guilty as the next person. In buying a car because I felt a certain way.  Now I have to confess something I was in love. I was head over heels in love with my 2013 Red Camaro. I loved the acceleration, the power, how it hugged the curves, and how it looked. Then one day, I made a business decision. I sold it and paid off 4 Credit accts. Now in the twilight of my years, I have learned a truth. I have to keep working to accomplish the goals that I established for my family. Now if I was working with the people, I worked with before 2012 that would not be too bad (fun even) I, however, work in an atmosphere that is at times toxic and at others just wearisome.  I, yet, like what I do for a living and I like my userbase for the most part.  In both cases, Higher Headquarters is the source of my frustration. Their ability to ready fire aim and unerringly hit themselves in the foot is uncanny.

So, when you hear the “I feel.” Just think for a moment or even watching the evening news. On the rare times that I listen to the story, I often ask this question. I believe everyone should ask themselves this question after every Salesman Congressman, Senator and President of every stripe and everyone in authority in one way or Another speaks. That question is 

                                     I WONDER IF THAT IS TRUE!!!!

 Thanks for Helping me with this writing exercise; it means a lot to get constructive feedback. In my quest to becoming a writer.

Gambling as a profession

Gambling

I have just got off the phone with a professional gambler. She, is one of my three of my daughters that have at one time, have are or have been professional gamblers. I know this seems a little off, or a little strange that three of my family members are or were at one-point gambling for money. It, however, is 100% true that gambling was their profession.  They routinely had to anticipate the needs of the rest of the people at the table, have a professional, yet pleasant demeanor putting it all on the line for the feedback of the persons at the table.  That feedback is in the form of the tip left after the meal is completed. You see, my daughters were professional gamblers as they make less than $2 bucks per hour with the hope of it becoming $300 or more at the end of their shifts.  The gamble is while summoning all the charm and professionalism she can muster that it would be sufficient to receive a tip commensurate to the level of effort made to make sure that evenings dining experience was enjoyable and memorable Make no mistake this is not for the fun of it as sometimes it can be fun, but it is the way of doing business in a businesslike manner. 

  

     My Daughters have always been hard workers all 3 daughters that are here have worked waitressing. Seeing they gave birth to my legacy and are at present nurturing them to become adults, all 10 of them have different personalities and habits.  Their well-being and happiness is and was based on at some point, her prowess as a gambler.  I tip regularly and generously.  The amount is flexible based on the level of service, and that is totally up to you. I recently attended my daughter’s graduation from Tulane University with her master’s degree in social work.  After graduation, we went to the restaurant where she worked. Houston’s in New Orleans. It was a high-end restaurant. I usually tip with cash when I am in a high scale restaurant, as I want to reward the staff (the gamblers) for their effort and work. I do not wish to reward the state or federal government for their work that’s between the wait staff and them as I stay out of it.  In this case, I forgot to get cash for the tip the dinner was close to $250 which meant with my method of calculating 20% was doubling the cost of the meal then moving the decimal point to the left. Which was about 50 bucks. I went across the street at the Walgreen’s and hit the teller machine and took out about 150 dollars.  The manager was at the table and surprised me when he told me, “Sir, your daughter is a delight to work for, and she has worked very hard here and is respected by her co-workers. We are comping the meal. After my mouth closed. I thanked the manager, and when the waiter came back, I shook his hand and gave him $60. You see, the meal was comped, not the immaculate service.  I had no problem giving money when a job was well done.  In this case, it absolutely was.  There is a reputation that follows Christians that reputation is that they are cheap. I will not state this as a fact. However, since the thought is ubiquitous in its widespread acceptance, I will accept the truth of it in some quarters of society. So between 11AM and 1PM on any given Sunday there will be somewhere in the viewing of this article 6-15 people at a given restaurant with the chairs rearranged to accommodate the group (and their children)  have a meal for everyone then leave a tip that is in the least embarrassing to me to even comprehend.  If it was my daughter, and while they were college, it was my daughter. I would want to slap the taste out of the mouths of every adult. If they were clergy, they would get the change to turn the other cheek as I would want to slap them twice.

I will however not leave a generous tip to anyone in the wait staff that ignores my family and me while in the case I am thinking of trying to get the attention of a young man (he was handsome) while ignoring my requests for more water. It also was telling that someone else had to serve the meal while they tried to get her dance card filled. I don’t remember the amount of the meal, but I do remember the tip was nowhere close to my usual 20%

            I Have family members (I use that term loosely) that have not come to the revelation as of yet that rewarding excellent service is good policy. They are

moving at their own pace in their journey of the spiritual growth area, so I don’t speak of it unless it’s with my wife in private.

            Remember these people when you sit down for a meal. They are sons and daughters, fathers and moms and are trying their best to make ends meet just like we are. You see a little grace can go a long way.  That reminds me of a story of my younger years, I used to drink copious amounts of alcohol when I was a young airman. I used to give a preemptive tip. I’d walk up to the bar and get the attention of the bartender and say. I am here to do business. I would love to do business with you. In that regard, I would like to present you with this $10 bill as a sign of my good faith. I would like a Gin and grapefruit.  Needless to say, I needed a taxi ride home more than once. It wasn’t for me at the fact was that my car got drunk, but, I still needed to get back to the barracks.  I no longer drink, but the sentiment is absolutely the same. By rewarding excellent service, it has a positive effect on the evening.  For the servers and those being served.

The Next Step

The next step   

Well, I got started in the next phase of the I want to live, as I’m not planning on dying any time soon program.   Changed the weekend alarm to 6 AM. Got up and went to the GYM. As some of you know, I renewed my Gym membership sometime last week. Well, it was interesting comedic but interesting. You all know the saying “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” That’s kind of what happened.  I went to elliptical machines and put my weight and age in the computer and started working out. I set a goal of 20 mins the 1^st Time out.  Then it happened.  The Following is a public service announcement DO NOT under any circumstances play Sirius XM 80’s workout while doing cardio if you are recovering from all the Shiznet I experienced over the last 3 years.  I was not feeling bad. I was kind of energized at 1^st. However, the machine kept sending warnings “YOU ARE EXCEEDING THE RECOMMENDED HEART RATE SLOW DOWN” How can I do that? The Pointer Sisters were blowing Neutron dance I was just keeping up. Then Thomas Dolby’s Blinding them with Science came on. Then Rod Stewarts Young hearts started. Then next time I knew I’m watching flashing warnings stating in essence “YOU OLD MF SLOW YO AZZ DOWN” the 20 mins was almost over so said just go on and finish.

                        Then I knocked 3 triceps exercises the 1^st With dumbbells (not the one sitting on the bench) the 2 10 Pounders from the rack. Basically, the one when one sits upright keeping the elbow next to one’s head then extending the arm over the head. 2^nd triceps pulldowns on the cable machine and finally the one with the machine behind me and bending over and extending the arms working the triceps. It was not too bad even though I could feel it in the right places. The technique was much more important than weight. Washed the Santa Fe bought coffee for Wanda and I and now here I am finishing my blog entry for today.  

I have made myself accountable for what I have planned for tomorrow. Told a couple of friends that I respect and the universe (The internet) That I will be getting up tomorrow and heading to worship.   It's amazing what happens when one accepts the concept that a ‘Dead Man Walking” no longer applies to them.

 Whoda thunk it? Body Mind Spirit what a concept!

Wrong again

I Was Really wrong this time Pt2

This one is going to sting a bit. The good thing is that I did not run my mouth. I exercised the right to remain silent which was an excellent thing. It took a day or so, but I finally had my OH-DUH moment.  But 1^st Something about my self-talk this is how it happens. On the outside its completely silent, oh but on the inside, there is some severe AZZ chewing going on with two individual components. 1. my 17-year-old self. Being totally about what he wants and wanting it now. And the voice of reason My Father. Let us relive a conversation that took place in the 1970’s late spring. I remember that it was not summer as I was routinely out of town from June to August marching in my Drum Corps.  VK all the way!!! (inside knowledge required I apologize) I made a request (that’s BS) a demand of my Dad. Who looked at me like I had lost my mind (because I did) and said NO! Now if I withdrew my request and apologized it would have ended there.  Those of you that know me know full well that I could not let it just lie there. I slid all my chips in (like I had cards to play) and doubled down on stupid.  Dad said, “son go into my bedroom and get the strong box from under the bed, and give it to me.” I was confused but complied. I got the box handed it to my dad who opened it and pulled out this document it was the mortgage or the bank letter stating that Eugene Oliver Crawford was the principal on the loan, and was responsible for

making the payments on the home we lived in.  He asked “do you see your name anywhere on this document” I delayed my answer and got a resounding “ANSWER ME BOY!!!” I said (in this tiny voice) No sir.  He continued “I pay the note on this MF, not a GD thing happens there without my permission. Now I don’t have to give you anything but love a roof over your head and food in your narrow Azz and clothes on your back. Don’t bring this I need BS in this conversation, but I got your needs covered and seeing you are leaving town for 3 months to get on a bus to go across the country playing that horn (pointing to the Baritone case on the floor) I think some of your wants are covered too. You need to learn to approach me with some respect and gratitude and you just might get a request, or two met.   I learned a year later he took extra shifts to actually pay for me to live in the Dorm in college. Ok, that what happened way back then. Well, my dad came back to talk to me last week. Not in the flesh but in another episode of Manny’s self-talk.   I had just sold my Camaro (moment of silence) A car that I loved for funds to pay some bills, as I am preparing to see this home and to buy another in the area. I’m comfortable in Las Cruces and intend to stay here for a while I requested another car loan this time for 10K as opposed to 32K so I can double up on payments to get it paid off quicker. My wife, my pearl of great price said we need a pickup truck preferably a quad cab in the 2004-2007 range for hauling stuff around. She said I'll need it to haul the boys around town as well.  OH, OH. Here is where my EGO raised its ugly head. Please note what happens after this is my internal discussion with my 17-year-old persona and the voice of reason and wisdom which was my dad. The 17-year-old spoke and said. Woman who the F are you to tell me what we are going to buy or not to buy. I did not finish this thought before the voice of my dad showed up and said loudly and clearly. “What In the F are you thinking? That is your wife. I thought you were trying to stay married this time. You remember that whining and crying when that woman you send back to the states came back to Okinawa married to the other guy you know your friend that was hitting it while you were out of town. You remember asking the Almighty for one more chance to be a dad that last time when you totally f''d up the chance you had. I know it wasn’t totally on you, but you took the cowards way out with the way you ended it like a sniveling BITCH!!”

“Look I know you are mad about selling the Camaro, but you said it was a business decision, and it was. So how is this her fault?  No SON you are wrong, and this is why. What’s that in the driveway? A 2017 Hyundai Santa Fe that you bought for her, and she is giving it to you for a pickup truck that is not even close to being new.  Finally, are you saying this used roller skate with a bed is your ultimate expression of your driving pleasure?  You are selling the house. Your friend from California told you because you are an old fart you can keep the proceeds, and it is not capital gains and not put in in the new home.  Ya think that you might take a piece of the proceeds and get something like a 2018 Lexus and pay cash for it?  Son, you are a certified idiot” …

Now that day I’m sitting at my desk at lunch sipping my soup, and with tears rolling down my face I am ashamed of how idiotic I was for a moment.  This conversation took place in total silence to anyone looking at me because it was totally inside my head.  I knew I had to come clean to the entire universe and admit my selfishness.  Now today was a good day I got some stuff done. Transferred the pre-paid car washes to the Hyundai renewed my Gym membership and got a lovely haircut.  What I did not do was take my bride my pearl of great price out looking for that new old truck.  That wasn’t my fault duty called at work, and I was logged on to my server from the house for hours picking up the pieces from a power failure at work.  Yes, I’m putting in for the OT I need the dough. Papi has bills to pay…

I WAS WRONG PART 1

             I WAS WRONG!!! Pt1

Boy, I have deemed myself an idiot this week. My self-talk Totally sucked. I jumped to conclusions because my attitude was miserable. I read a post. Not true I read the header of an article, and because I was mad (at something going on at work) I shot off my mouth(fingers) and hit send. On the other end was a friend that I respected but had an investment in the topic. There was an emotional component that I did not consider; which wasn’t hard seeing I did not recognize anyone but my own preconceived notions. I apologized when I discovered what I had done but, now I feel terrible about it. What will I do to do better? Well, 1^st of all do better!!! I have to consider the possible ramifications of me just running wild when I am in sarcasm mode. With the knowledge of I am responsible for what I say think, or write.  I am not a troll I, however, am full of sarcasm but that has to be tempered with the knowledge that there is a thinking, feeling human being sitting in front of their computer screen. I tend to not care intensely what others think I do however have to treat others with respect. Which this week in this and another instance have failed miserably.  I’m sorry KR

Sadness

Sadness

Sometimes there is not enough time. I am in mourning for a person that had a pivotal role in my ability to grow into an adult human being. She is not the only one but, she and her husband were lights in one of my darkest hours. The year was 1980-81 I had been just let go from a job. Soroc Technologies. We made dumb terminals which connected to mainframes. I started in assembly and advanced to hot-test and shipping then I was shipped out to my next adventure (I just didn’t see it that way. I, in fact, had a good friend that worked there that I would love to find again. John Gagnon. We used to go to the old Woody Allen movies and quote the lines all the time. Sorry for the shout-out. I was out on the bricks was staying with my roommates, and since I could not do the rent anymore, I was out of there. I had a friend (Hell still have a friend) Mark that asked his parents if I could move in temporarily until I could get on my feet. We were in a WWII reenactment group that I was exposed to because I was a friend to a curator of a military museum. Yes, there are pictures out there of me in a WWII uniform firing blanks at people in German uniforms. Hell, we did a half-time show. Where I got to shoot a .50 cal from a WWII vintage tank.  There is a picture of me in a WWII jeep at a reenactment dance where I wore pinks and greens. I even took Jitterbug lessons so I could fit into the atmosphere.

            Edith and Grant took me into their home and treated me like family including some sage advice these were some of the kindest people I have met. I will state for the record that this was my blessing from above I have had a series of families that were kind to this knucklehead from south central. That’s another really long story; needless to say, an interesting one.  I had a decision to make. I walked into the Recruiting office in Orange California in the late summer of 1980 and went to the AF recruiter I joined the USAF delayed enlistment entering April 28, 1981.

My 1^st mistake. I should have paid Grant and Edith in advance for the rent they charged for me to be there, as it was very reasonable. Which meant when my dumb butt realized it, I had to get a job. I worked doing temp office work (a strategic decision) as I found office work was good for my dating life.  (another story that will remain untold)

            It was at this time the value of my time with them was made evident. From them, I received some sage advice, and I can point to every time that advice was correct during my time serving in the U.S.A.F.  I was told beware of the guy that wants someone to pay for a round but hesitated reach in their own pocket to buy one. Identified that one right away and lifted a glass to Grant. I just remember seeing a down to earth family going to church, being active in the community and people namely Marc and Carol that are now my brother and sister. Oh, I have plenty of brothers and sisters out there that I have acquired since I was a teenager in So Central LA that I am still in contact with to this day.  Grant was called home to be with the Lord while I was overseas, I did and continue to miss him. Talk about someone that walked it like they talked it.  That was him.  I recently within the last 2 years regained contact with the rest of the family. This was due to the phenomenon of Social Media in particular and Facebook in general. I'm seeing kids, grandkids foreign adventures, and was glad to be in contact with them again.
We exchanged numbers and we call regularly. Edith asked me to come to see her. I unfortunately due to illness and finances was unable to go back to California to see her again. As you see on the 1^st day of spring this year surrounded by family laughing and enjoying each other Edith quietly passed from this existence to the next.  The feelings of grief, sadness and the shame of not being able to come back to California for a visit have deeply affected me.  Now the aftermath and the legal implications of the final disposition of Edith’s final wishes have to be fulfilled. The only thing that I can add to this is that through the years I have seen strange things happen during this tragic time in a family. I started my journey that led to being a part of their family began earlier in 1980 when my mother passed away suddenly. To my California family, you have a cohesive unit full of love and compassion as it is in your DNA, as I had the honor of knowing your mom and dad.  Every time we talked since then it was and is like going home, as you all sound the same. Remember you have each other to carry you through to the rest of your time here on earth. Kids, grandkids sons and daughters and in-laws are looking to you for leadership as you are approaching the top of the pyramid. You have a unique position of leadership that can not be dismissed or devalued.  The adhesive that holds your family together is strong and can withstand the winds of difficulty and change, I know its strong because I know where it came from. Be good to each other because we are are not isolated islands in a stream. we need each other to make it through another day. I have had a recent drought in my writing as of late. Your family has inspired me to continue to do that as I use it to let what I have bottled up to be released into the atmosphere. To do so is to release something eternal into the universe. We as people need to keep the vision our eyes up and aware making sure our loved ones are protected from things from the outside that could do us harm.  Mistakes happen, heck stuff happens every day.

Be Excellent to each other.