I've been away
I have been away for a while. This is
another iteration of my Do-Over. I have a dream of one day being a writer. More
specifically a novelist. I was reading
articles about writing and found one written by Stephen King. He states if you
wish to be a writer then write. So here goes. My intent is for this to
chronicle the changes that that I undergo as I attempt to re-make myself for
the 3rd time. This time the change is much deeper and significant than all the
others combined. It is intended to be a total overhaul, as I have given myself
6 years (my retirement from federal service) to emerge from the chrysalis. God willing (and the creek don't rise) there
will be changes to my internal and external makeup during that period. (detailed information to follow)
Why
now? I'm so glad you asked. This is
where I wound up after years of being alone, angry, and blaming others. This means I have learned to deal with the
responsible person (ME) It also had
roots in a couple of events in my life, and the advice of a carpool mate who
made a suggestion that I took to heart and has taken off with me getting more
information and direction than I have ever had. I'll talk about that later. The
next event was the return of a set of grandchildren from NY State back to the
El Paso area, as their father is in the Military. It all began with the eldest asking me a
couple of questions. This 6 year old asked
“Papi did you know there was a Black Hole in the center of the Milky Way
galaxy? That question hit me in the head like a grenade going off. The next major
question was. Papi what’s Magnetism? That was a bomb going off in my head… I questioned
myself and asked. How am I going to be able to instruct this young man? He is so far ahead of where I was at 6 that it
was scary. I have to do something, I have
to be something greater for him and all those that look up to me. That is a sobering thought. So months later when
I got the suggestion from a carpool mate, it clicked. Oh the suggestion. Do you listen to podcasts?
I said no, but I listen to a lot of audio-books. It makes me aware and of things
and I want to keep my mind active. He gave
me a couple of suggestions that I liked. I then sent in search of I found the
Do-over guy. Self-improvement suggestions and further education on remaking one’s
self. That is where I am today. So here
it is.
Where do I start? How do I start? I have
to start somewhere so here goes. Where do I need improvement? In all areas of my life. Financially, physically, emotionally, and in
the way I think. I have started the
financial part now I am paying off debts that I have accumulated over the years
and will clean that mess up. But I forgot
the most important change of all. That is
to be responsible. Responsible for my words and deeds. I already don’t like
making excuses. This goes much further.
I have a couple of family members and friends that I have or will make myself
accountable. Also I am sticking out my neck and telling the entire world if my
successes and failures, as there will be both. I also need to lose 100-110 of
my closest friends. No not any of you guys,
but the extra pounds that I have come to follow me around and has become the “Monkey”
on my back. I need to keep my emotions
in check, have a more positive attitude and look at life for the gift it
is. When one realizes that there is a
strong possibility that the next 20 years will be the end of me it makes one
consider what one has amassed and what one leaves behind. I have stopped drinking alcohol to excess. “4 bouts of gout is a great incentive to slow
up on the Dos Equis, and Johnny walker Black Red and Blue. “ For the record this walk is my walk I am not
encouraging any one to follow (as I am lost and can’t find my way as it is) this
is a journey that I have started after many false starts and failures. By writing this I hope to keep motivated and
covet your encouragement.
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