Saturday, August 1, 2015

I'm back now

I've been away





I have been away for a while. This is another iteration of my Do-Over. I have a dream of one day being a writer. More specifically a novelist.  I was reading articles about writing and found one written by Stephen King. He states if you wish to be a writer then write. So here goes. My intent is for this to chronicle the changes that that I undergo as I attempt to re-make myself for the 3rd time. This time the change is much deeper and significant than all the others combined. It is intended to be a total overhaul, as I have given myself 6 years (my retirement from federal service) to emerge from the chrysalis.  God willing (and the creek don't rise) there will be changes to my internal and external makeup during that period.  (detailed information to follow)


            Why now?  I'm so glad you asked. This is where I wound up after years of being alone, angry, and blaming others.  This means I have learned to deal with the responsible person (ME)  It also had roots in a couple of events in my life, and the advice of a carpool mate who made a suggestion that I took to heart and has taken off with me getting more information and direction than I have ever had. I'll talk about that later. The next event was the return of a set of grandchildren from NY State back to the El Paso area, as their father is in the Military.  It all began with the eldest asking me a couple of questions.  This 6 year old asked “Papi did you know there was a Black Hole in the center of the Milky Way galaxy? That question hit me in the head like a grenade going off. The next major question was. Papi what’s Magnetism?   That was a bomb going off in my head… I questioned myself and asked. How am I going to be able to instruct this young man?  He is so far ahead of where I was at 6 that it was scary.  I have to do something, I have to be something greater for him and all those that look up to me.  That is a sobering thought. So months later when I got the suggestion from a carpool mate, it clicked.  Oh the suggestion. Do you listen to podcasts? I said no, but I listen to a lot of audio-books. It makes me aware and of things and I want to keep my mind active.   He gave me a couple of suggestions that I liked. I then sent in search of I found the Do-over guy. Self-improvement suggestions and further education on remaking one’s self. That is where I am today.  So here it is.


            Where do I start? How do I start? I have to start somewhere so here goes. Where do I need improvement?  In all areas of my life.  Financially, physically, emotionally, and in the way I think.  I have started the financial part now I am paying off debts that I have accumulated over the years and will clean that mess up.  But I forgot the most important change of all.  That is to be responsible. Responsible for my words and deeds. I already don’t like making excuses. This goes much further.  I have a couple of family members and friends that I have or will make myself accountable. Also I am sticking out my neck and telling the entire world if my successes and failures, as there will be both. I also need to lose 100-110 of my closest friends.  No not any of you guys, but the extra pounds that I have come to follow me around and has become the “Monkey” on my back.  I need to keep my emotions in check, have a more positive attitude and look at life for the gift it is.  When one realizes that there is a strong possibility that the next 20 years will be the end of me it makes one consider what one has amassed and what one leaves behind.  I have stopped drinking alcohol to excess.  “4 bouts of gout is a great incentive to slow up on the Dos Equis, and Johnny walker Black Red and Blue. “  For the record this walk is my walk I am not encouraging any one to follow (as I am lost and can’t find my way as it is) this is a journey that I have started after many false starts and failures.  By writing this I hope to keep motivated and covet your encouragement. 

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