Relatability
There are times in my local congregation that I feel this
sense of distance. It would be because I am an introvert, but I do not believe
so. In my congregation, a few groups of people differ in perspective. We have a
diverse congregation: people from the Philippines, Indonesia, several countries
in Africa, and various places in the United States, but that is not it. The
difference is how we came to be in the same place spiritually. We have
multi-generational Christians who can trace their backgrounds to a great
grandparent (or farther back) in the faith. We have those who have taken that
experience gone through bible school and ministry. It seems on the surface that
the experience they had in coming to Christ differs from some of us that took
longer and a more circuitous journey to realize that the life that we were
living was not working and to make a change.
Not to say
anything negative about anyone’s experience, that is not the case. We all have
things that make us unique that contribute to the body of Christ. At different
stages of development, we each have a unique perspective on what it means to
have gotten as far as we have to this point in time. That is how the church
grows by relating our experiences to those in our circle of influence because
of the understanding of what it takes to get into that position; however,
others may not relate in the same way that I have.
I come from
an IT background, the land of the one and zero. There are people that I know
that at various times and the end of the proverbial rope and were four pounds
of pressure from making a permanent solution to a temporary situation, but at
that last minute, something occurred to take another chance or ask for another
chance to make things different. People in these situations have something to
offer those in similar situations because they have been there. We all have
friends and family members that are reachable by us that others cannot reach.
We have people that we shared ribs, salad, and even a beer in the past that we
can relate to that no one else can. There are those of us who have seen
horrible things from the cities we grew up in and on the battlefield in life
and often literal battlefields that need to have someone who understands what
it is like to be in those locations and situations. In relating an experience
that I have had, I saw a glazed-over look as if the person in the church (and
elder) had no understanding of the point that I was going to make concerning
thought that my unique experience led me to. That thought was an IF-THEN
statement and nesting statements in programming and how life operates.
It is
necessary to explain this concept. Life is a series of decisions that lead to
an outcome that is variable based on the decision made. When a person gets cut
off in traffic, it creates a decision point. Based on the decision made could
lead to a variable outcome. One could ignore it, get angry, laugh it off, go
into road rage, or anything in between. To ignore could lead to nothing in
general, or getting angry could lead to bad decision making, and increased
risk of an accident or road rage could lead to a dead-end of that line of
existence. The almighty knows the outcome of every possible permutation and
awaits how we will respond or not respond as in the final analysis; the choice
is always ours.
Some of our
old friends are good friends, but for some reason, either a move promotion or
some other factor has separated us from each other. The thought of going back
occurs, but that ship has sailed, that particular timeline has closed, and
there is no going back. One can try; however it is not the same because we are
not the same time, location or situation has changed the pieces on the board so
that the previous life cannot be reproduced. Those relationships offer lines of
relatability to friends that, in essence, remain in that former timeline.
The pull of
the memories and people of a former life sometimes have a definite draw on the
emotions. It should be understood recovering from a weekend bender with one’s
besties is not the most profitable way to rekindle old friendships and old
times. We should embrace the family that we have grown to love establishing
bonds that move forward instead of returning to our friends where that danger
exists.
There is a
danger that exists in the opposite direction. Some in the church have no idea
what it is like to go through the obstacles we have. The lack of a common frame
of reference is a problem for some people that may not know what a person has overcome
or is presently overcoming. We must extend grace to each other, bridging the
gap between the worlds we have come from to the world where we are moving to
focus on the goal. The understanding that Christ suffered the way we all suffer
up to and including death. He did that to relate to us. We who have had
experiences should know that experience was not just for us but for those we
will relate to in our conduct in the world.
When I was at that crossroads, I asked for
something that took six years to appear, and when it did appear, I knew what
that was. I asked for it directly at my lowest point in life. It became my
life’s mission to accomplish. I live every day knowing that every word that I
say makes me accountable to that promise, and it was tough at first but is much
easier now. Being a mentor is one of the most rewarding things that I do. I
know what it is, my calling.
