Why I retired

 

"Why I retired."

 

I have struggled with how to start this essay. It is probably one of the important decisions I have made in my life. It was not an easy one, as I am built to serve. As you know, I am a retired USAF NCO after an interesting career but fell short of my expectations (that was 100% on me). I was changing careers to become an IT person by going to college and getting several certifications. Working D.O.D 1^st as a Help Desk guy then a System Administrator for 19 years. So, I will start like this." Whut happened wuz." 

After retiring from Civil service, I took that retirement in addition to my military retirement and a couple of other streams of income. I moved to Columbus, OHIO, for family reasons. I was heading to Mesa, AZ but received further orders from the COO. (Aka, The wife.) took a position at a local Hospital (mental), a couple of things immediately stood out even before setting foot outside of New Mexico.  My initial interview went well. However, there was a couple of things that (in retrospect) I should have given much more attention to.  It was a feeling more than anything else.

Something was off.  It was the 2^nd interview with the CIO that reinforced the idea that something was wrong. The CIO seemed stressed and seemed borderline irritated.  He told me what areas he needed help, and I thought those were interesting and was more than willing to help. He talked about a broken work order system (more on that later) and hinted at problems with the userbase and management at that location.  But I felt that I could overcome those things and put my best foot forward as I was more than willing to help.  Upon arrival, I was given what I now think of as the "Palm Sunday." treatment. Things like "We have waited for you for a long time," and we have heard you were coming for months." I felt like the guy riding into Jerusalem 2000 years ago to accolades only to get put on a plank a week later.  After a period of little or no training. (on local procedures and systems) I started finding stuff out.  The 1^st being I was like the 6^th or 7^th person in this position since 2016. People getting fired or just quitting several times in the previous 5-year period.  The hospital was part of a more extensive system combining several hospitals in several geographical locations in the eastern US. I am purposely vague here as (I am not the Bus driver).

 Those hospitals have administrators doing the day-to-day IT business assisting other areas when it got hectic using remote control tools, zoom meetings, and a good ole phone call to get things done or consult with each other. 50% of my training took place in this way.  I had a two-week visit from the CIO to go over how things ran from his perspective, and I was off. That was another 15%, leaving the rest to dig through the internet and read for me. (side note) I just bought a home and started planning the wiring and setup of a home network setup. (more of that in another essay), managed switches, personal email server, and VPN (home-wide), but I digress. The 1^st thing that I was warned about came to light—a broken work order system.

People would knock on my door, hijack me in the hallway, and otherwise leave me voicemails about problems and having little or no action on them would go up the chain to complain.  1^st of all, there were two systems for work orders. The 1^st was an internal one.  I had zero visibility on that system as a centralized help desk system (outsourced) was introduced to meet the demand. I found myself giving briefings to the new hires about said system weekly; however, I believe (but can't prove) that information was not reinforced at the local user level because everyone tried to bypass the work order system.

Simultaneously, the same person who is using their special position (the guy who hired me) told me that he checks the work order system to evaluate my performance. While simultaneously dropping the "I need this done by the end of the day" card. It was apparent that I check the work order system several times a day and learn that I must answer urgent work orders within 24 hours. I was a little confused.  More on this later.

Printers, there was no centralized printer management application, so I made one. I created a spreadsheet with the internet links to all the printers. I will have a ready reference to all printers' page counts and toner status in all the sections. After being called out (from home), I changed a toner cartridge on a weekend evening. There was no in-stock inventory of toners for the printers and replacement unit placed strategically on location.  So, I developed one.  I had toners on site. In a particular section and used the military concept that one is none and two is one.  If you have only one toner, you don't have any, as that one in the printer does not count.  When I saw a printer was below 20% toner, I ordered two—giving one to the section and adding one to the inventory.  This brings up another issue. After all that and several warnings (via email) to the local supervisor for about four days. That stated the location of the replacement toner cartridge.  I was told to change that toner cartridge. Upon arrival, I not only found the toner cartridge readily available. But there was a local supervisor with their back turned to have a lively discussion on something.  That gave me a couple of troubling thoughts the supervisor was unaware of or uncaring the problem.

Most importantly, my immediate supervisor did not have my back. A simple "Manny has a toner cartridge set aside for you; please install that one and tell him so he can order more.  I was angry I felt like, "this looks like a setup for making me the bad guy." There was that Palm Sunday feeling again. That started with Hosanna to the king, then Crucify him a week later.    I do not have the sins of the world on my plate. I have a Wife, Daughter, Son in law and three young men under my charge, and I report directly to my Father-in-law in Mesa, AZ.  As to their welfare, additionally, I have an oath betwixt my Pop and I, but not one to my job.   

The next to last straw was a lack of strategic planning. I was told that a section was to move from the 1^st floor to another floor in the hospital. The unit was moved but was unable to fax or print.  The correct thing would be to say, "Manny, we are planning a move. Could you look at what is needed to accomplish that, and when the action was complete, it would work immediately, and not spending the two or three weeks planning the move, it was a month fixing the problem.  This will get a little technical, and I had to refresh my memory on networking when it comes to V-lans and analog phone lines. I knew in the back of my mind that the network switch was on a different V-lan, and its new IP address is issued. When I saw the switch's IP address and the device's IP, I slapped my forehead for missing it.  So, I had to send an email to the office that controlled the switch to make the changes, but I had an idea. I changed the IP to dynamic, had the machine get a new IP, then changed it back to static, and updated the database, thinking something would work and knowing something will work are different things.  One problem fixed. Now the fax. I have worked on 66 blocks (in college, in a lab.), so I had to open a book and refresh my memory. Please note: I was imaging new computers, replacing digital phones, setting up voice mail and email accounts for new users, and the occasional broken phone for patient use (after having them forcibly removed from the wall). I eventually toned the line from the 1^st floor to the floor that had the device, so it was now able to fax and print over the network

 The last straw was my reprimand. Then the subsequent Performance Improvement Process. Remember the verbal requests.  Here it goes. I was presented with several phones for members of the staff. I never got their names and was reprimanded for not getting the phones issued. A work order with that information would know, and I would be off. But I was evaluated for the work orders completed, but for things  I was not trained or briefed to do, creating a process to accomplish that task but having no notice taken of it. I was being evaluated on a broken system of communication by one of the people that broke it.

After closing the deal on the new home, I realized that I did not need the income from that job to close on my new home, which I did last Wednesday.  I was working because I loved what I do, love serving people, and love the tech. I get plenty of Love at home, so I do not need to get it outside my own family.  I still have a profile on indeed.com; however, the need to get another job is fading fast as my last stream of income SS will be kicking in in about three weeks.  I am retired. I do not need the aggravation of others who are given the oversight of what I do who do not know how to do what I do. Finally, I can't be the scapegoat for someone else's broken process. I did not break it, and I won't be the one to fix it as it was broken before I arrived.

 

So that, my friends, is why I retired.

its been a while

 It's Been A While 

     I was inspired by a question posed to me by my eldest Grandson that brought me to tears.

He was watching me prepare oatmeal and asked, "Papi, will you cook oatmeal for us too?" I said, "do I look like the other guy, you know the guy that bought ice cream for himself and left you to fend for yourselves?" When have I prepared anything in any kitchen anywhere where it did not include you, boys? It is Saturday morning. If I am cooking anything, it's for all of us. Then it hit me. I have been misty ever since. Many scriptures tell how us to petition God for our needs and desire. However, I drew a blank when writing this thesis. It is necessary to find them again and not rely on my memories of sermons and studies past. That study will continue while I add a few of them for your consideration.

1. Luke 11, 11-13 11 "Now 11 suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he? 12 "Or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give him a scorpion, will he? 13 "If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your 1heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?" It is the father's pleasure to give to his sons, or in this case, Grandsons, things that will help, nourish, and otherwise help the children/grandchildren. In fact, it is what the father longs to do.  
2. 1st John 14/15 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: If we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15 And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him. My Grandson knew it was totally within my power to grant him the wishes he desired, and he did not hesitate to ask. How often have we as God's children known what power is available to us and do not ask because of the many fears that we carry inwardly and knowing we want it easy and are afraid of putting in the work that it requires to accomplish to give us the things we want? 
3. Jeremiah 29 11:13 11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I am deeply aware of why I have moved to Columbus, OH. it is for them, my grandsons; they are my mission as in the scripture, I know the plans that I have for them. My job is to prepare them for the challenges ahead, not knowing or caring for the outcome based on the fact that my effort performed in faith is a duty that I was presented and for which I have sold all to accomplish. I have left friends (a few nasty situations), but 90% of the things I left were not harmful. The mission that had called me and indirectly answered a prayer that I made in 2005 before the 3 major players in this drama was born. 

 

The reason for my misty eyes was the realization in the spirit that I am, in a way, my Grandson asking the question daily to God. I am the young man approaching the father asking, is this the right thing? Do you know what it's going to take to accomplish this task? You know I'm 65 years old and too old for a career change and to move to make all of this happen when the world is so upside down? What happened to Tucson, Phoenix, or Mesa, AZ? Nevertheless, I trust this is what I should be doing, and with the people, I will meet along the way. I do know the following things are right.

 

1. The 1st interview was the place that wanted me, and they waited 3 months to get me there. (the reasons are interesting) I am, however, happy to be there.
2. The area is diverse and exciting, and I can't wait to get a rod in the water after settling.
3. I have finally found that good night's sleep that I have wanted for over 3 years since I planned my other office escape.

It's good to be writing again about my spirit's awakening in that question from my Grandson raised the wick from its idle position to its fully lit place. It's great to be back in front of my keyboard again.

     Finally, I found a congregation that just embraced me and just accepted me without question. I'm just glad I am in a place where I feel welcome and loved.  I don't know much about the congregation except that they are diverse and spirit-filled, and I feel comfortable being there. I am sure I'm a mystery to them as well, but I'm comfortable with that at this point in my healing, as I have never sought the limelight or to be the center of attention that just isn't me. I'm just Manny the guy in the second or third row 

 

 

A good man

A GOOD MAN

I am here to discuss the life of a man that reinvented himself again and again. I first met him in middle school. He was afraid of everything he had a strong aversion to conflict of any kind, that bit him for most of his life. His mother scolded him and told him under no circumstances to fight with anyone. However, he looked up to his father that encouraged him to stand up for himself. I remember the day that it all changed.  His father, Eugene, was at home recovering from an injury he received from work. His dad observed him in a dead run, being pursued by three neighborhood kids. Turning into the driveway and to the porch, Manny saw his father and was stopped by him. His dad stood and said, “Son, if you keep running now, you will run for the rest of your life. Manny told his dad, “mom said if I get into fights, I would be in trouble.” His father said, “Son, if you are not in trouble with me, then you are not in trouble.”   Manny turned and faced the three boys.  After a scuffle that took about 5 minutes, two of the boys were down, and his father pulled manny off the last boy. That was the last time that Manny had any trouble in his neighborhood.  As a young man, his father took extra shifts and paid his dormitory fees as he was the first of his children to go to university.

            Manny had trouble with womenfolk. That would haunt him for decades until he realized who he was in the universe and was satisfied with himself. The moment that he discovered that he did not need a relationship to complete him. He found that special woman that changed his life for the better. Now it took five marriages to figure it out, but he did find out.  Manny reinvented himself after his first relationship ended and left the country serving in the United States Air Force for 20 years as a Generator Mechanic.

Manny reinvented himself after retirement by becoming a Computer Technician, going back to college. Finally, finishing at age 51, he started a new career as a Computer Technician at the New Mexico School for the Blind and the Visually impaired.  He took to computer work like a duck to water.  His commitment to being of service to his users and his deskside manner was instrumental in making the users comfortable with the constant changes in technology.  He then became a Help Desk technician working for The United States Air Force and brought his calm demeanor to his new job, making friends that he maintained until his passing.  The then went to work for the US ARMY at William Beaumont Army Medical Center as a systems administrator. That work though unusual, was not what he was cut out for as his concern for the user base took a back seat to the demands of the multiple systems for which he was responsible. At his best would take care of his users and their requirements, balancing that with the high tempo of Medical IT. After 18 years as a civil servant.  He answered the call of his family for leadership. Three of his grandchildren and their mother were alone in and needed some additional help as the young men were growing up without adult male supervision in a new city, Columbus OH.  Manny took this opportunity to return to his first love user support as he retired from civil service, taking a job as a Desktop Technician at the Sun Behavioral Health Facility in Columbus, OH.  He made an immediate impression with his experience in networking, system administration, and user support.  He was poised to do great things when illness took him from us. He will be remembered as one of the good guys quick with a word of encouragement. He leaves behind a wife ten grandchildren and a multitude of people that were touched by his presence.    As a person of faith (though flawed), he recognized his need for power outside of himself. As a person that tried to do his best,  immediately make amends when en he was in error I believe he has heard these words. “well, done my good and faithful servant welcome into the .joy of the lord…. Well done, Manny Well done, you and your spirit will not quickly be forgotten.

             

Work the final frontier

Work the final frontier

Tomorrow starts orientation for a new job at my new place of residence. I am excited at the prospect of working at a new location where no one knows me.  The adventure began Friday during in processing.  I started the ball rolling I asked, "did you study for the test?" I asked the 1^st person to sit down in the waiting area. With this puzzled look, she responded, "what test" I replied, "you know the drug test." That broke the ice and the tension that I had and lightened the mood a bit.  The processing went like processing usually goes and pretty much as expected.  Set up the initial login establishing the initial password and signing all the appropriate documents. It was different as this is the first time that I have worked out of the Government system.  With me serving as a GI or a Civilian for 39 years.  There was no question if I was going to work or not. The question what it is going to be like after the move. It is new so new that I have no idea what it will be like to work outside the structured environment of the government.

I am looking forward to putting my best foot forward.  I have no friends here (yet) I am happy to be the tech at the end of row 4 in seat 3.

In my last situation, my mentor was on the interviewing board. Not that he did me any favors, but the process of getting this job was different. I published my resume' online and had a couple of zoom interviews, and I got hired. I had reservations as I was applying for a position as a desktop support technician, as I had no desire to work in system administration any longer. I prefer working with users directly.  I can be more of a help to a person than I can be looking over a system on which I have to rely on other offices doing their jobs for my job to operate smoothly. For example, the statement "The the system is down" is pretty vague.  It could be a networking problem, an interface problem, an issue that has its origins outside of the office, or a problem originating from the chair that sent the email. All these circumstances may or may not be within my span of control to fix. The user's point of contact is yours truly, and excuses or important reasons all sound the same from the user's perspective.  

I am looking to start fresh with a new perspective where no one knows me outside of the information I presented when I applied for the job. I am excited at the prospect. I am going put those lessons I have learned about being the best at one's job that I have learned over the years in this new environment. I had a reason for leaving my last position. Like my father used to say, "you have a good reason, but what is the real reason."  The real reason is I want to be in the lives of my grandsons that are in this area. With that accomplished, everything else is gravy. However, I want to test myself in this new environment to see what I can achieve.

what i fear

What I'm afraid of

I don't have a lot of fears from a personal perspective. I've seen a lot of stuff in the last 65 years.  I have two things of which that I genuinely fear; one is being alone, and the other is a success. I have the unique capability of making almost anyone at ease with me.  For some reason, its been this way all my life.

My Father taught me a lesson that I have never forgotten that lesson has always taken to heart. That advice was. "No one has the right to know what you think at any given moment unless you tell them." I have lived my adult life practicing this concept to the fullest. The only people that know how I feel are my immediate family and closest friends. To the rest of the world, I enjoy being an enigma engaging and cooperative looking for a win-win in every situation willing to do what is necessary for a successful resolution if it is possible. This principle is especially pertinent for people to dislike. I get a thrill when someone that I do not necessarily like has a reasonable opinion of me.  Because I value harmony above all else when it contributes to the benefit of the group, this has served me well in the 20 years of military service and the 18 years of civil service. I do not have to like someone to be able to work with them. The dark side of this talent comes into play in my personal life.

I can make friends at the drop of a hat. I find out what a person is about, and I use that information to build rapport. I had a selfish reason for doing that in April, I sent my wife to my retirement location so that I could complete the work needed to get our home prepared for sale. We rented an apartment in town and was alone. It took about two weeks for me to realize that there is a big difference from being by one's self to being completely alone. The voices that speak in the voluminous solitude attack unabated, exploiting the fears and insecurities that are always there.  The dark side is dealing with persons that do not have emotional stability; they mistake friendliness with something else. That something else is something that one can receive from another.  I will leave this right here.

My second fear is what do I do if I am successful if my plans come to fruition. What happens if my dreams come true? I am so used to making lemonade from lemons. I won't know what to do if things work out. This is such a foreign concept that I find the very thought terrifying. What I believe is what will happen is that I will do all those tasks that I know to do.  Pay debts invest correctly and take care of my family. That will be a one day at a time proposition. I guess that will be the best thing that I can do.

it was a dark and stormy night

It was a Dark and Stormy Night

Somewhere in the South Pacific.

It was in preparation for an incoming Typhoon sometime between 1990 to 1997 Staff sergeant Mikel Anderson and his crew consisting of the newly promoted Staff Sergeant Jones Senior Airman smith and three other airmen in the team. They were assigned to install a generator at the Communications Squadron in preparation for the onset of inclement weather. A Typhoon descended on an island in the 1990s.   A work crew volunteered to remain to prepare for the oncoming storm.  Their mission was to be on call in the event of a generator outage during the Typhoon.

            SSgt Anderson and his crew arrived in a 2 ½ ton Truck with the Generator in tow. After backing the Generator inside of the weather-protected enclosure. Work control was called to receive the instructions as to how the unit was to be installed.  The instructions were to hook up to the primary side of the transformer with a voltage of 240/416, which would be stepped down by the transformer to a usable 120/208.   We had an available fuel source because the site's backup Generator was inoperable due to an engine part that was ordered but had not received. After providing for fuel and setting up the unit as instructed. A radio call changed plans as we were not to hook up to the primary side of the transformer. Still, we were to hook up to the secondary side of the transformer requiring a change of voltage to 120/208 to avoid any damage to the building's electrical grid when activated.

SSgt Anderson took his crew aside and relayed the instructions to his men and explicitly told SSgt Jones to change the voltage immediately to 120/208 before proceeding any further.  Right at that moment, there was a lightning strike approximately 50 meters from their parking location.  The crew felt the hair on their bodies tingling from the static electricity in the area just after the booming thunderclap.  The Generator started, and fuel levels checked.  Everything was in readiness for the switchover to generator power.  After the switch was activated, there was a visible pulse and then complete darkness. At the same instant, lightning struck near the entrance to the communication squadron, which brought down a communication tower that missed the truck by approximately 5 feet.  SSgt Anderson looked at SSgt Jones called him over and asked the question, "Sarge, did you change the voltage back as I asked." The look on his face told SSgt Anderson all he needed to know SSgt Anderson looked to confirm his greatest fear. The voltage was incorrectly set on the generator unit.  At that moment, a Major came out the front door of the facility, looked at the communication tower, and said Sergeant that lightning strike knocked out the building.  Thinking on his feet, SSgt Anderson said YES SIR, IT DID!!!  The Major and SSgt Anderson went through the communications Squadron to assess the damage. Every fluorescent light ballast was blown every unit not connected to a surge suppressor burned out. That consisted of every printer in the building and two computers and four vending machines.

SSgt Anderson took the NCO's aside and had a heart to heart talk. "The airmen have no clue as to what happened: gentlemen, the regulation reads like this. We three are at a minimum will be responsible for one month's base pay, and one of us will get smacked with the full bill for the repairs". That person will be me. However, we have a unique opportunity to avoid this consequence. The Major believes that this was due to a lightning strike, and I do not plan on contradicting him. I need to know where you stand on this issue. If you concur, that will be the story. If you do not, we will take our lumps as we must have the same account, as we will all be questioned about the events of that evening. They all concurred. Now that is settled, change that Generator to the correct voltage.  I wrote the incident up in the after-action report and solicited input from the major who was eager to help and added his contribution to the official document.   We were, asked individually about what happened. A few days later, we were called into the commander's office, and we had to repeat the story for the umpteenth time and signed the official document that recorded the incident. I thought we were home free when my supervisor and Superintendent cornered me in the hallway and asked.  Did it happen, as you said?  I said, Sir, it was the strangest thing I have ever seen. If someone told me something like that, I would have serious doubts as well.  The last thing I heard was "Carry on Sargent" My reply was Yes, Sir!  We three never spoke of it again until we had retired.  It went kind of like this  Jones you remember that dark and stormy night on that island way back when.

  

Why i left a High paying job

Why I left a high paying job

                                                            To help with the Grandkids

I have just retired from Civil Service after 19 years. I worked in Medical Information Technology at a military hospital. Why did I leave? It was for 3 of my grandchildren. The others have an intact nuclear family and do not have the needs that these young men have. That is the compelling reason for leaving civil service. I grew up in South Central Los Angeles. I am well acquainted with what happens with youth when they do not have consistent parental supervision. I made a statement when I was presented with my daughter on July 30, 1984. I will take care of mine, no matter the cost.

            I saw how things were going at my place of employment and felt a compelling reason to evacuate the area. So, when my wife presented me with the opportunity to relocate for the sake of the grandchildren, it was an easy decision. I dropped papers, made plans to sell the home, and depart for my present location.

            Now that I am here, I have no regrets. Some things have yet to be accomplished, but it looks great thus far.  I have a week before I have to report to my new job, and I am taking the time to learn about my area as it's the first time I have lived in an urban environment since leaving Los Angeles in 1981. I have been on military installations or small towns for 38 years. Thank goodness for GPS Technology, as this will take a while.  Seeing I just left a city of 65000 for a metro area of 2.5 million people.

            The boys are good guys. They are open to instruction, and I have been glad we are here.  It's been fun to reinforce what their mom has been trying to accomplish.  The boys will be taking classes online due to the present malaise, so we took a trip to Target and the local five dollars or less store for headsets for the boys and their studies.  An exciting interaction took place at dinner today. It started like this. The middle grandson asked his older brother to help him prepare a package of coconut chicken. After he asked his brother, asked, why are you asking him?  He said he did not want any.   So why are you asking him? There are people here to help you if you ask the right question to the right person.  He then asked my wife. I then asked him to try again.  He finally said Papi, could you help me? I said sure I had him bring the package to me and read the instructions aloud.  After reading the directions, we went to the kitchen to follow those instructions. I asked, what are you having with the chicken? How about some rice? So, he brought out the bag of rice, and I instructed him to prepare it.  

            The dinner was delicious. I asked my grandson if he could accomplish that task without supervision after a couple of times with me helping him.  He said yes, Papi. Well, it looks like today's lesson was a resounding success.

I I was looking forward to the things that we will learn together.  The eldest has volunteered to assist in building my next computer, as I will be rebuilding my old computer for his scholarly endeavors.

Today life is good.